Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tygerarmy

Search for a member

tygerarmy
  • Town/Country : NYC, US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6506
  • Number of comments : 570
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About tygerarmy : Current deployed and enjoying FML from somewhere in Middle-Earth
King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
Twitter @TygerArmy

tygerarmy's last visitors

VentiAnemoiSmallBeanSurge_HeartINashaIjwade11Taylor22294OhNoAGhostLuluRichards

tygerarmy's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of tygerarmy's badges

tygerarmy's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and said I was not 'Christian enough' for her. Later I found out she had been cheating on me with my best friend. FML

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

#15968
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44196) - you deserved it (2780)

On 02/08/2009 at 9:14pm - intimacy - by ADT (man) - United States (California)

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

#14570
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21276) - you deserved it (4476)

On 02/08/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by N (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I called the campus police to give me a ride to the cafeteria since I am on crutches from knee surgery. I was only halfway into the car when the man started driving and ran over my foot. Now neither my right knee or my left foot work. FML

#12898
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35578) - you deserved it (1612)

On 02/07/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by brokenkneechick (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266019) - you deserved it (49492)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the girl whom I have loved for 4 years told me that she loved me too and would like to spend her life with me. This was before she told me that God did not want us to be together. FML

#11909
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26981) - you deserved it (1771)

On 02/06/2009 at 4:24pm - misc - by thesparrow (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

#11750
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42091) - you deserved it (5860)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by beerpong26 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

#11750
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42091) - you deserved it (5860)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by beerpong26 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my anatomy teacher was putting together a skeleton model for class. He had misplaced the leg bone, so I thoughtfully asked, "What's the matter, lose a leg?" Unfortunately, there's nothing thoughtful about asking that question to a guy with an amputated leg. FML

#10699
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6219) - you deserved it (28979)

On 02/05/2009 at 5:56pm - misc - by Foot In Mouth (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML

#9520
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31762) - you deserved it (55617)

On 02/05/2009 at 9:09am - intimacy - by ruffrider (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

#9514
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56859) - you deserved it (20109)

On 02/05/2009 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

#8816
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45208) - you deserved it (16102)

On 02/04/2009 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by PlayTag (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

#8816
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45208) - you deserved it (16102)

On 02/04/2009 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by PlayTag (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16260) - you deserved it (26795)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML

#6669
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29904) - you deserved it (6783)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:16pm - intimacy - by Zippyzoo (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: