About tygerarmy : King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert, Stand Up Comedy, Podcast Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
About tygerarmy : King of Queens
tygerarmy's FML badges
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
The Thumb returns
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tygerarmy's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 3:11am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML
by -_- / 07/05/2013 at 5:59pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 5:08pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids
by keiran123 / 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML
by blahblah / 06/26/2013 at 9:57pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML
by jgtrflynn / 06/24/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, I was playing a video game that required me to hunt a few animals. My mom walked in, saw what I was doing, then went into her psycho vegan mode and started yelling at me. She basically grounded me for "murdering" pixels on a screen. FML
by welp, time to become an assassin / 06/23/2013 at 2:14pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML
by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous
Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML
by me / 06/22/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 10:28am / United States / Animals
Today, I tried explaining to my mom how liking her own posts on Facebook wasn't very cool. I later logged in to see she'd added all my friends and posted naked baby pictures of me, captioning them, "Now I don't have to like my own posts." FML
by Sydney1600 / 06/20/2013 at 7:28pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML
by naughtymommy0317 / 06/20/2013 at 4:47am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm / United States / Holidays
by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm / United Kingdom (Bromley) / Intimacy
- Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, I’m a babysitter for a 4 year-old little girl. All afternoon, I attended Barbie’s murder and… Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you…