Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tygerarmy

Offline (57 minutes ago) | Search for a member

tygerarmy

0Liked!

tygerarmytygerarmy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 September 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8760
  • Number of comments : 598
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About tygerarmy : In a wonderful polyamorous relationship.
King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
Twitter @TygerArmy

tygerarmy's page activity

Visits<b>taintedtruffle</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:42pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 11:41pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 11:12pm<b>dylanger16</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 11:00pm<b>ashleylove0525</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:04am<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 12:26am<b>dggetswaggoob</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 12:04am<b>xMrsCarlilex</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 5:03pm<b>OwenBicker</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 7:58pm<b>Lars93</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 6:18pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:30pm<b>j11a01</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 3:23pm<b>_Rachel_2008</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 10:54am<b>zeddiculus</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 8:32am<b>Arwen_Evenstar</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 8:26am<b>Demonface54</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 7:51am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:25am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 2:36am

tygerarmy's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of tygerarmy's badges

tygerarmy's favorite FMLs

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

#2349846
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58381) - you deserved it (7467)

On 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729
730 comments

I agree, your life sucks (273204) - you deserved it (145061)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

#2182938
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83393) - you deserved it (10220)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML

#2045344
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68132) - you deserved it (7707)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was selected to give my speech to the entire school. I was later told it had to be censored because it was inappropriate, even though I was just trying to make a point. My speech was on political correctness. My speech on political correctness was censored for political reasons. FML

#1973868
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44485) - you deserved it (4558)

On 05/16/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a list of employee names who were losing their jobs and I had to remove them from the system as I work for IT. I was on the list. That's right. My last responsibility as an employee was removing myself from the system for security reasons. FML

#1818659
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67344) - you deserved it (2686)

On 05/10/2009 at 4:41pm - work - by IT_4_Hire (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

#1749459
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (138473) - you deserved it (14105)

On 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - Kuwait

Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML

#1681747
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62452) - you deserved it (7218)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Jinthebar (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both drunk. We went into the bathroom, she started to give me head. After about 30 seconds the song changes and she jumps up and goes out to dance, leaving me there. Door open. Penis out. It was the song she requested. FML

#1592425
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69421) - you deserved it (18200)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:10pm - intimacy - by Lootz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

#1387325
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24064) - you deserved it (121107)

On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

#1152672
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102995) - you deserved it (6231)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm - intimacy - by TMI (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

#966989
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51454) - you deserved it (18165)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

#958764
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60873) - you deserved it (6891)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: