About tygerarmy : King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert, Stand Up Comedy, Podcast Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
About tygerarmy : King of Queens
tygerarmy's FML badges
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
tygerarmy's favorite FMLs
Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 1:10pm / United States (California) / Love
by SadPuppy / 05/22/2013 at 3:14am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML
by paging dr. kevorkian / 05/16/2013 at 5:23pm / Netherlands / Love
by random / 05/13/2013 at 11:06am / United States / Animals
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
by FenRackety / 05/10/2013 at 8:37am / Canada / Animals
by Screwed Up / 05/09/2013 at 1:30am / United States / Health
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by future brain bleach addict / 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
by Anonymous / 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML
by SecondBest,IGuess / 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML
by ShowerGirl / 04/30/2013 at 3:54am / United States / Money
Today, my parents finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. FML
by SierraCheyenne / 04/29/2013 at 9:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
by shameless / 04/28/2013 at 6:24pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't agree to convert to their new brand of Christianity. This is a day after they ranted at me about how I should speak my mind more and not let myself be controlled by other people. FML
by Anonymous / 04/28/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…