Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tygerarmy

Online | Search for a member

tygerarmy

1Liked!

tygerarmytygerarmy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 September 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9699
  • Number of comments : 612
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About tygerarmy : King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
Twitter @TygerArmy

tygerarmy's page activity

Visits<b>krispy_kreme792</b> - yesterday at 8:49am<b>Sexy_Time</b> - yesterday at 11:26pm<b>LittleRed79</b> - yesterday at 9:32pm<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 7:35pm<b>sorryheadphones</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 2:29pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 4:47pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:29am<b>A7X_all_the_way</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 1:00am<b>FranzFerdinand</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 9:17pm<b>Caity1243</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 6:09pm<b>tartar18</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 12:17pm<b>yesimoverthirty</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 9:17am<b>vikky538</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 7:22am<b>fmlnousername</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 10:50pm<b>jplaya93</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 9:21pm<b>Bloodknight</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 1:26pm<b>BigSeedDeed99</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 9:31am<b>omnia</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 9:17am

Liked!<b>okibi1</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 12:28pm

tygerarmy's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of tygerarmy's badges

tygerarmy's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom said I was the worst of her 5 children. My IQ is 130, an honor student, I don't smoke, I don't drink alcohol, or do drugs. I'm the "worst" because I don't go to church every Sunday. FML

#5791977
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44241) - you deserved it (9774)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by worst (man) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as "My other girlfriend." FML

#5526124
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40411) - you deserved it (3600)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at my friend's dorm eating supper. He and all his roommates are Chinese, and since I'm majoring in Chinese, I could understand what they were talking about. Too bad none of his friends knew that, and talked about banging me while I was sitting there. FML

#5518308
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27049) - you deserved it (3349)

On 09/27/2009 at 11:16pm - intimacy - by NiHao (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML

#5494730
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49279) - you deserved it (3828)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML

#5419647
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37881) - you deserved it (2233)

On 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

#5407615
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38115) - you deserved it (15355)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28312) - you deserved it (5061)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 45 minutes. I am an elevator mechanic. FML

#5163293
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36877) - you deserved it (6230)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:02am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

#5109294
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54699) - you deserved it (2932)

On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband asked me for permission to have an affair with his hot secretary. FML

#5086077
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70706) - you deserved it (6056)

On 09/06/2009 at 5:35pm - love - by mandinga (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend in my dorm room. My roommate came in, despite the signal I had up on the door. She didn't leave. She got on her computer and started playing Solitaire. FML

#5050419
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21070) - you deserved it (4752)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML

#4921754
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42201) - you deserved it (8398)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by pokie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63091) - you deserved it (16022)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML

#4827023
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8857) - you deserved it (59946)

On 08/26/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by brokennose (man) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: