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tygerarmy

Offline (the 04/13/2014 at 10:25pm) | Search for a member

tygerarmy

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7729
  • Number of comments : 589
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About tygerarmy : Current deployed and enjoying FML from somewhere in Middle-Earth
King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
Twitter @TygerArmy

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tygerarmy's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a list of employee names who were losing their jobs and I had to remove them from the system as I work for IT. I was on the list. That's right. My last responsibility as an employee was removing myself from the system for security reasons. FML

#1818659
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67185) - you deserved it (2678)

On 05/10/2009 at 4:41pm - work - by IT_4_Hire (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

#1749459
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (137902) - you deserved it (14062)

On 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - Kuwait

Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML

#1681747
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62332) - you deserved it (7205)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Jinthebar (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both drunk. We went into the bathroom, she started to give me head. After about 30 seconds the song changes and she jumps up and goes out to dance, leaving me there. Door open. Penis out. It was the song she requested. FML

#1592425
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69283) - you deserved it (18167)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:10pm - intimacy - by Lootz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

#1387325
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23505) - you deserved it (119472)

On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

#1152672
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102586) - you deserved it (6212)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm - intimacy - by TMI (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

#966989
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51340) - you deserved it (18137)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

#958764
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60540) - you deserved it (6859)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

#958764
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60540) - you deserved it (6859)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

#946704
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (146791) - you deserved it (21561)

On 04/13/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by Hikara (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me "don't worry, it's not yours." FML

#871042
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109947) - you deserved it (5715)

On 04/08/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Crazy09 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

#849037
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55169) - you deserved it (8867)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML



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