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tygerarmy

Offline (the 04/13/2014 at 10:25pm) | Search for a member

tygerarmy

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7713
  • Number of comments : 589
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About tygerarmy : Current deployed and enjoying FML from somewhere in Middle-Earth
King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
Twitter @TygerArmy

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tygerarmy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62414) - you deserved it (15861)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML

#4827023
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8811) - you deserved it (59670)

On 08/26/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by brokennose (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

#4679232
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83539) - you deserved it (7267)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56756) - you deserved it (11347)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

#4574797
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69224) - you deserved it (10354)

On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

#4572721
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56842) - you deserved it (9863)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

#4572721
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56842) - you deserved it (9863)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML

#4274462
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48082) - you deserved it (6943)

On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after 3 long hours of mowing the lawn with a rusty lawn mower, my dad finally decided to tell me that he didn't get any money out to pay me with. The reason? He didn't think girls could mow a lawn and was expecting me to give up. FML

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66782) - you deserved it (15295)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML

#4188521
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42071) - you deserved it (8543)

On 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm - love - by deadbunnies (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that my wife had an affair with another guy. She met him while we were on a trip in another state for marriage counseling. The reason we were in marriage counseling was because she had no desire for sex, and we had gone for two years without it. FML

#4079911
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57022) - you deserved it (4300)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by imatool (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17122) - you deserved it (68322)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML

#3921342
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42745) - you deserved it (27737)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by emperor (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, I received a "diamond ring" in Mafia Wars (a facebook app) from my boyfriend of 3 years. Along with the ring came a message. It read, "Will you marry me?" He was serious. FML

#3827229
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54870) - you deserved it (9137)

On 07/17/2009 at 8:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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