Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tygerarmy

Search for a member

tygerarmy
  • Town/Country : NYC, US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6630
  • Number of comments : 573
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About tygerarmy : Current deployed and enjoying FML from somewhere in Middle-Earth
King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
Twitter @TygerArmy

tygerarmy's last visitors

hurryHMaWalrus13krupa1017anoneemooseMarchMarybleu85

tygerarmy's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of tygerarmy's badges

tygerarmy's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was making love to my fiancé, his mom walked out of the hotel bathroom and sat in a chair less than two feet away from the bed. She made idle conversation with us for the next 15 minutes. My fiancé was still inside me the entire time. FML

#13990744
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30136) - you deserved it (6632)

On 11/26/2010 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Interrupted - United States (Texas)

Today, I signed up to a Christian website in order to try and 'find God again'. I got banned. FML

#13982900
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14548) - you deserved it (22142)

On 11/26/2010 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I was forced to go to the mall with my dad. He wore a bear suit the entire time. FML

#13954362
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20940) - you deserved it (3565)

On 11/23/2010 at 9:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

#13937569
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31424) - you deserved it (7381)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I received a restraining order from a girl I have never met. FML

#13808592
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29927) - you deserved it (2945)

On 11/11/2010 at 10:55pm - misc - by Bob - United States (Texas)

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

#13762266
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27653) - you deserved it (4915)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML

#13733539
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7416) - you deserved it (27811)

On 11/06/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

#13728170
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22681) - you deserved it (4484)

On 11/05/2010 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I spent all day handing out flyers advertising my services as a psychic. I got only one call. The caller wanted to inform me that I had misspelt the word "psychic" on my flyer. She was right. FML

#13610871
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5375) - you deserved it (34301)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after having the worst night of my life, my boss chewing me out and acid reflux all morning, I went to the snack machine at work to get the only thing that makes me happy, Reese's PB cups. I had just enough money to buy the very last one in the machine, and it got stuck. FML

#13608435
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26944) - you deserved it (3470)

On 10/26/2010 at 10:46pm - misc - by zzzgrady - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

#13581194
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19897) - you deserved it (2725)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - animals - by danjoylovefun - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked into my home office and said F*** you! Then she ran to my husband and said "Did I say it right?" FML

#13484178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31471) - you deserved it (4351)

On 10/17/2010 at 9:55am - kids - by Ashley Marshburn - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

#13418490
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43582) - you deserved it (7928)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML

#13345855
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7307) - you deserved it (30224)

On 10/06/2010 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML

#13295050
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22125) - you deserved it (6789)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: