Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tygerarmy

Online | Search for a member

tygerarmy

11Liked!

tygerarmytygerarmy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 September 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10355
  • Number of comments : 625
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About tygerarmy : King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert, Stand Up Comedy, Podcast Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
Twitter @TygerArmy

tygerarmy's page activity

Visits<b>_ashole</b> - 4 hours ago<b>FlabbberGasted</b> - 20 hours ago<b>melons</b> - yesterday at 4:45am<b>ZiggysMommy512</b> - yesterday at 1:36am<b>royr7395</b> - yesterday at 1:41pm<b>Qball56</b> - yesterday at 10:20am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:39pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 8:36pm<b>copperchinchilla</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 10:11pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 8:30pm<b>brittaaany_93</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 8:21am<b>brieee</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 11:52am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 3:48am<b>ilovesarcasm</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 2:23pm<b>heroforhirex95</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 2:31am<b>an3ph</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 1:15am<b>sixboss</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 12:34am<b>taylorcheri</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 10:27pm

Liked!<b>heroforhirex95</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 8:31am<b>xwingtwo</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 11:47am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 10:12am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 8:08pm<b>kaycrazyy</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 3:32am<b>lilbutton3</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 9:06am<b>Auribahl</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 3:47am<b>annapanda143</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 12:47am<b>JonnyTheKat</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 4:05pm<b>dollface6228</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 12:26pm<b>okibi1</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 12:28pm

tygerarmy's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of tygerarmy's badges

tygerarmy's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

#18220908
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12769) - you deserved it (41495)

On 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Henry - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18425) - you deserved it (77579)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9093) - you deserved it (111914)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

#18200253
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56959) - you deserved it (8437)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

#18189501
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37485) - you deserved it (7483)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States

Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML

#18170655
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30405) - you deserved it (16799)

On 11/06/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by wellthisisawkward80 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML

#18163904
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54351) - you deserved it (3893)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:40am - love - by oink401 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML

#18163904
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54351) - you deserved it (3893)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:40am - love - by oink401 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I heard a notification on my iPhone. I thought nothing of it until we were done, and then I checked it out. My mom had posted on my Facebook, telling me that if I didn't keep it down, she was going to come up to my room. FML

#18135493
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30129) - you deserved it (12464)

On 11/02/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by ugadawgs09 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML

#18127858
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12556) - you deserved it (57370)

On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)

Today, I got into my car after a long shift at work. When I looked in my rear view mirror, a horrifyingly evil face grinned at me from the back window. I leaped out of the car, only to be chased around by two people in clown masks. It turned out to be a prank set up by my co-workers. FML

#18112365
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28467) - you deserved it (3032)

On 10/30/2011 at 3:13pm - work - by Katrin - Norway

Today, as I was driving to work, I witnessed a kid apparently getting jumped. Being a good citizen, I got out and started yelling at them. I ended up alongside the kid in the hospital. FML

#18078650
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34290) - you deserved it (3989)

On 10/26/2011 at 3:41am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16961) - you deserved it (46169) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20343) - you deserved it (33716)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30601) - you deserved it (5191) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: