About tygerarmy : King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert, Stand Up Comedy, Podcast Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
About tygerarmy : King of Queens
tygerarmy's FML badges
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
tygerarmy's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend lost his temper with me and complained that my "constant" apologies for upsetting him drive him insane, and without thinking, I said I was sorry. He hung up and I haven't heard from him since. FML
by cupcakechick / 06/04/2013 at 4:55pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML
by anonymous / 06/03/2013 at 12:41am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina / 06/01/2013 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML
by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:16am / United States (Utah) / Love
Today, I invited my boyfriend to come to an event to meet some of my friends for the first time. I had been raving about him for weeks, and everyone was curious to meet this "amazing guy" I'd been dating. He showed up in a Darth Vader costume because he thought it would be funny to embarrass me. FML
by JJLight / 05/26/2013 at 11:14pm / United States (California) / Love
by Mylifesucks / 05/23/2013 at 1:11am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 1:10pm / United States (California) / Love
by SadPuppy / 05/22/2013 at 3:14am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML
by paging dr. kevorkian / 05/16/2013 at 5:23pm / Netherlands / Love
by random / 05/13/2013 at 11:06am / United States / Animals
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
by FenRackety / 05/10/2013 at 8:37am / Canada / Animals
by Screwed Up / 05/09/2013 at 1:30am / United States / Health
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by future brain bleach addict / 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy