About tygerarmy : King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert, Stand Up Comedy, Podcast Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
About tygerarmy : King of Queens
tygerarmy's FML badges
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
tygerarmy's favorite FMLs
Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML
by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:41am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by NO NO NO / 08/05/2013 at 5:42pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML
by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay, and we decided on acting out a job interview scenario. I suggestively told her that if she wanted to get the job, she'd have to use her mouth on something else first. She called me a pig and ended the roleplay right there. FML
by Anonymous / 08/03/2013 at 4:01pm / Portugal / Intimacy
Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML
by zackeryburch / 08/03/2013 at 9:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML
by whyeventry? / 08/02/2013 at 12:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 9:32pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 12:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML
by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 2:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by accountnamevalid / 07/21/2013 at 12:45am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML
by Dirty_Mind_69 / 07/20/2013 at 4:35am / United States (Louisiana) / Work
Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2013 at 12:41pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML
by mile high clubber / 07/14/2013 at 6:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation