Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About ty7in_topic : Hi, I'm Tylin. I'm a 14 years old freshman in the Visual and Performing Arts Academy. I feel like the youngest person on this site. I'm Black and Asian aka Blasian. I play four instruments: Cello, Guitar, Steel Drum Guitar, and Piano. I'm a soccer player who one day dreams to join the USMNT. My jersey has my favorite number 7. I wish I could change my username. I like listening to rap, hip hop, and R&B. I like watching YouTube all day. Addicted to Pewdiepie as well as Dr. Pepper. Seriously with out Dr pepper for a long time I'll get headaches, I need to see a doctor or something. Anyways I'm gonna keep this short. Please message me cause I'm too shy to message you.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML
Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML
Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML
Today, after having my sinuses draining for a couple days, my ma stopped by for a surprise visit. Upon discovering the trash can full of used tissues, she called my pastor grandfather to talk to me about the chronic masturbation problem I don't have, but that everyone now thinks I have. FML
Today, I was offered a job that pays far more than I expected, being a high school senior. My parents decided they aren't letting me take the job, saying I should enjoy my childhood. They're also not paying for my college, which is why I was looking for work in the first place. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML
Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML
Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML
Friday 6 December 2013