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Today, a highly intoxicated man came into my workplace and complained that the medicine that I'd prescribed for his dog almost choked him. I work at Blockbuster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21401) - you deserved it (1520)
On 10/09/2011 at 11:30pm - work - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19468) - you deserved it (3043)
On 10/06/2011 at 6:20am - misc - by kemando - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30906) - you deserved it (5001)
On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12156) - you deserved it (31195)
On 07/20/2011 at 8:36am - misc - by ElixirRose - United States (Georgia)
Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11187) - you deserved it (25866)
On 06/14/2011 at 10:23am - work - by patrickalamo - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend got a job at a trendy clothing store in the mall. Trying to be supportive, I went to visit him and tried something on. I got stuck in the jeans and had to call my boyfriend, who sent the manager to pull the jeans off me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20775) - you deserved it (9328)
On 06/14/2011 at 9:56am - misc - by mimabee - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48163) - you deserved it (5262)
On 01/27/2011 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by JordanVilleneuve (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and found ourselves locked in. We slept there overnight. We woke up when the cleaning lady found us the next morning and were greeted by worried parents and school staff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9485) - you deserved it (33419)
On 08/26/2010 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Eeeek (woman) - Bulgaria (Varna)
Today, I made a mistake at work that got 7 people fired. I'm scared to leave the office because they're all outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11744) - you deserved it (47813)
On 08/25/2010 at 3:13pm - work - by Joel - United States (California)
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38247) - you deserved it (10979)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31651) - you deserved it (7552)
On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States
Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9607) - you deserved it (189115)
On 05/20/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by Chichensoup (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of us getting married some day. She said she wasn't sure about me yet and that we may want to go in different directions soon. We've been dating for three years and I had the ring in my pocket at the moment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30375) - you deserved it (2489)
On 12/21/2009 at 9:47pm - love - by chao (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32813) - you deserved it (2494)
On 12/12/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by RBEE (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, after a trip to my doctor I found out that my recent mood swings and hot flashes are the result of a hormonal imbalance that mimics the effects of menopause. I'm a 17 year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29562) - you deserved it (1615)
On 11/07/2009 at 7:38pm - health - by oldlady (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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