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twye

Offline (the 09/26/2014 at 7:33pm) | Search for a member

twye

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2151
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About twye : "See, the problem isn't that life is so short. It's the fact that death is so much longer." pbnjcakes.tumblr.com yo! :U

twye's page activity

Visits<b>homes7d</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:46pm<b>Mernfern</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:23am<b>olpally</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 7:10am<b>bodyguerdson</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 9:35pm<b>boredguyyy</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 4:34pm<b>XxOtakuDemonxX</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 2:03am<b>beatlesgirl2u2</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 7:31pm<b>Kibaruto</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 5:08am<b>claiiire</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 11:11am<b>littlebuggy</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 1:26pm<b>Star928</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 2:04am<b>emirie</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 5:19pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 1:22am<b>TheCanucklehead</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 11:32pm<b>JE553</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 11:23am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 1:18am<b>starile</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 12:36pm<b>graffitied_love</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 1:23pm

twye's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of twye's badges

twye's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

#19504984
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26767) - you deserved it (3259)

On 04/21/2012 at 4:36am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37546) - you deserved it (3532)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29114) - you deserved it (9274)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML

#19180349
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18960) - you deserved it (11481)

On 02/28/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by poop - United States

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17156) - you deserved it (29464)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17156) - you deserved it (29464)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML

#19164372
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28662) - you deserved it (2142)

On 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by afraidtoburn (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while working as a police dispatcher, I took a call for a motorcycle accident that occurred near my house. After obtaining all the essential information I realized the rider was my brother. He doesn't own a motorcycle, but I do. FML

#19157991
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30455) - you deserved it (2167)

On 02/25/2012 at 12:36am - misc - by Samm Povich - United States

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10348) - you deserved it (55054)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20614) - you deserved it (9297)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, a close friend pointed out to me how ironic it is that I make the Sim version of myself work out to lose weight, while I sit on my fat ass playing video games. FML

#11318182
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9361) - you deserved it (48468)

On 06/19/2010 at 8:40pm - health - by Grace (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83636) - you deserved it (221260)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)



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