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twye

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twye

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1858
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About twye : "See, the problem isn't that life is so short. It's the fact that death is so much longer." pbnjcakes.tumblr.com yo! :U

twye's page activity

Visits<b>homes7d</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:46pm<b>Mernfern</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:23am<b>olpally</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 7:10am<b>bodyguerdson</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 9:35pm<b>boredguyyy</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 4:34pm<b>XxOtakuDemonxX</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 2:03am<b>beatlesgirl2u2</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 7:31pm<b>Kibaruto</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 5:08am<b>claiiire</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 11:11am<b>littlebuggy</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 1:26pm<b>Star928</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 2:04am<b>emirie</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 5:19pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 1:22am<b>TheCanucklehead</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 11:32pm<b>JE553</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 11:23am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 1:18am<b>starile</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 12:36pm<b>graffitied_love</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 1:23pm

twye's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of twye's badges

twye's favorite FMLs

Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML

#19829657
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7283) - you deserved it (22588)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by hakura madada - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

#19824188
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26833) - you deserved it (2507)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21930) - you deserved it (2841)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML

#19774183
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26719) - you deserved it (3384)

On 06/11/2012 at 11:56pm - misc - by JohnBlack (man) - United States

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

#19743527
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35520) - you deserved it (5805)

On 06/06/2012 at 10:19am - misc - by Bishop (man) -

Today, I approached a cute girl at a club, when she started barking at me like a rabid dog. Thinking she might be mentally unhinged, I left, only to see the same girl laughing her ass off with her friends minutes later. When I went back over, her friends started barking at me too. FML

#19739013
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24158) - you deserved it (5846)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML

#19721854
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27107) - you deserved it (2146)

On 06/02/2012 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by huh (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, a kid I taught to swim became my new boss, at the pool that I have worked at for nine years. FML

#19703809
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24406) - you deserved it (3265)

On 05/30/2012 at 9:51am - work - by chlorinesmells - United States

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

#19702897
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30547) - you deserved it (7408)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML

#19673871
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19757) - you deserved it (2157)

On 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm - animals - by XxEmoWolfiexX (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML

#19669022
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16118) - you deserved it (6755)

On 05/23/2012 at 6:50pm - misc - by Shopper (woman) - United States

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

#19589899
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21344) - you deserved it (6019)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

#19568801
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33571) - you deserved it (9948)

On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

#19531197
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7110) - you deserved it (29489)

On 04/26/2012 at 6:44am - work - by NoPrivacy (woman) - United States



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