About twye : "See, the problem isn't that life is so short. It's the fact that death is so much longer." pbnjcakes.tumblr.com yo! :U | When did this become a hook-up site?
twye's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
twye's favorite FMLs
by JB / 09/09/2012 at 4:34am / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by sasquatch / 09/08/2012 at 12:03am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by sunshinexx / 09/07/2012 at 5:50am / Australia / Health
by steve / 09/05/2012 at 4:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML
by Anonymous / 08/31/2012 at 7:16pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML
by Anonymous / 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/28/2012 at 12:29am / Canada (Quebec) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/27/2012 at 2:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, my wife and I got in a 4-hour heated argument which resulted in her begging for a divorce and admitting that she cheated on me. This all started with us arguing about the instructions for our new IKEA table. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 10:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, after getting home from a twelve-hour shift at work, I got into bed and passed out. My mother soon woke me up, screaming that she could tell I was "fake sleeping" and ignoring her lecture on how I need to stop being so "lazy". FML
by ipayyourbillsgorramit / 08/24/2012 at 7:29pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by coop7291 / 08/24/2012 at 1:21am / United States / Health
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
by Confused / 08/22/2012 at 12:33pm / Spain (Madrid) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…