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twye

Offline (the 10/06/2014 at 9:29pm) | Search for a member

twye

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2787
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About twye : "See, the problem isn't that life is so short. It's the fact that death is so much longer." pbnjcakes.tumblr.com yo! :U

twye's page activity

Visits<b>homes7d</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:46pm<b>Mernfern</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:23am<b>olpally</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 7:10am<b>bodyguerdson</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 9:35pm<b>boredguyyy</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 4:34pm<b>XxOtakuDemonxX</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 2:03am<b>beatlesgirl2u2</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 7:31pm<b>Kibaruto</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 5:08am<b>claiiire</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 11:11am<b>littlebuggy</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 1:26pm<b>Star928</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 2:04am<b>emirie</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 5:19pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 1:22am<b>TheCanucklehead</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 11:32pm<b>JE553</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 11:23am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 1:18am<b>starile</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 12:36pm<b>graffitied_love</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 1:23pm

twye's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of twye's badges

twye's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work, I witnessed a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said "yep... that just happened" and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

#19867742
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23310) - you deserved it (2754)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:12pm - kids - by ihatewalmart (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML

#19860691
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23639) - you deserved it (3937)

On 06/28/2012 at 1:36pm - misc - by whoslade (man) - United States

Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML

#19855906
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25214) - you deserved it (4285)

On 06/27/2012 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by RatCityChick - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a cramp while swimming. It took the lifeguard 5 minutes to stop flirting with a girl before trying to help me. FML

#19850221
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23899) - you deserved it (3098)

On 06/26/2012 at 11:08am - misc - by EdgardoP - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML

#19848904
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8925) - you deserved it (27409)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:18am - work - by cmck932012 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML

#19848843
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24912) - you deserved it (5350)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

#19846265
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26160) - you deserved it (15718)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

#19841077
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28168) - you deserved it (3070)

On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a party, I told a joke to my crush. He didn't even smile. An hour later, I heard my model friend tell the exact same joke to him. He said it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. FML

Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML

#19840334
497 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8912) - you deserved it (45048)

On 06/24/2012 at 5:45pm - kids - by :( (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

#19840064
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22922) - you deserved it (1658)

On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I told my girlfriend I love her for the first time. She said, "Thanks." FML

#19833451
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25634) - you deserved it (3478)

On 06/23/2012 at 10:23am - love - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my parents were awake while I was still in bed on my iPod touch. I decided to play The Smurfs Village. One of its minigames involves shaking the iPod, so I was breathing heavily. Later, my parents sat me down for a little "talk". FML

#19833260
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22265) - you deserved it (6986)

On 06/23/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband put some photos of our wedding on Facebook. He named the album "FML". FML

#19832174
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29182) - you deserved it (3065)

On 06/23/2012 at 1:17am - misc - by blah56 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I divorced my husband of 20 years. The only positive thing about my day was my pregnancy test. Yes, it was his. FML

#19831438
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25448) - you deserved it (8039)

On 06/22/2012 at 10:57pm - misc - by GM38 - United States (Florida)



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