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twitchybug's FML badges
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twitchybug's favorite FMLs
Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm / United States (Nevada) / Love
by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML
by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
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- Today, I hooked up with a guy online. I asked him beforehand to not stick anything down my throat.… Today, I went to the dentist and they told me I was fine so I went home. They called me back saying… Today, I was hired for a second job, which I desperately need because I'm living with my boyfriend…