Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About twisted_cherub : So, evidently my life doesn't suck enough for this place. People get FMLs through for not getting the present they wanted or hearing someone use a word wrong, but being nicknamed "the cream fairy" by truckers or having my date wrestle a tampon away from my puppy don't get in. Aside from my life not sucking, I work all the time, sleep when I'm not working, and take a few minutes to eat breakfast while browsing FML every evening before work. Oh, and I'm a grammar nazi and suffer from controlled (I just yell without cracking the windows) road rage (occupational hazard). And the guy in the tampon story, still with me. Love him.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML
Today, I decided to look at the pictures my mom took during my birthday a couple of weeks ago. Every single one is of my sister. Her lighting the candles, her watching me open presents, and her eating cake. The only pictures of me are in the background. FML
Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML
Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML
Friday 19 September 2014