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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 January 1982 (34 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1443
  • Number of comments : 330
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About twisted_cherub : So, evidently my life doesn't suck enough for this place. People get FMLs through for not getting the present they wanted or hearing someone use a word wrong, but being nicknamed "the cream fairy" by truckers or having my date wrestle a tampon away from my puppy don't get in. Aside from my life not sucking, I work all the time, sleep when I'm not working, and take a few minutes to eat breakfast while browsing FML every evening before work. Oh, and I'm a grammar nazi and suffer from controlled (I just yell without cracking the windows) road rage (occupational hazard). And the guy in the tampon story, still with me. Love him.

twisted_cherub's page activity

Visits<b>lgarcia1178</b> - the 11/15/2016 at 8:50am<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 1:15am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 9:05pm<b>jill97</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 11:20am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 2:00pm<b>strange_ness</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 1:02am<b>happysmile987</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 12:48pm<b>M3DO</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 8:10pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 6:07am<b>kjdeel</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 11:52pm<b>amburrjade</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 12:48am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 10:49am<b>IridianShadow</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 8:43pm<b>kingcast25</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:13am<b>mwali02</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 5:41pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 7:52am<b>jonloran</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 10:19pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 1:25pm

Fucked!<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 7:16am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 3:35am

twisted_cherub's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of twisted_cherub's badges

twisted_cherub's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

by Misky / 07/01/2012 at 10:51pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

by iris / 05/18/2012 at 7:01pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 11:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to look at the pictures my mom took during my birthday a couple of weeks ago. Every single one is of my sister. Her lighting the candles, her watching me open presents, and her eating cake. The only pictures of me are in the background. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2012 at 7:35pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

by yosenfal / 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Intimacy

Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm / United States / Kids

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

by optimistic2628 / 10/19/2011 at 10:03am / United States / Kids