About twisted_cherub : So, evidently my life doesn't suck enough for this place. People get FMLs through for not getting the present they wanted or hearing someone use a word wrong, but being nicknamed "the cream fairy" by truckers or having my date wrestle a tampon away from my puppy don't get in. Aside from my life not sucking, I work all the time, sleep when I'm not working, and take a few minutes to eat breakfast while browsing FML every evening before work. Oh, and I'm a grammar nazi and suffer from controlled (I just yell without cracking the windows) road rage (occupational hazard). And the guy in the tampon story, still with me. Love him.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10553) - you deserved it (32424)
On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6189) - you deserved it (14951)
Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8212) - you deserved it (19624)
On 05/18/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by iris (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)
Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23520) - you deserved it (2509)
On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I decided to look at the pictures my mom took during my birthday a couple of weeks ago. Every single one is of my sister. Her lighting the candles, her watching me open presents, and her eating cake. The only pictures of me are in the background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21619) - you deserved it (1078)
On 05/03/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)
Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36522) - you deserved it (2416)
On 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by yosenfal (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)
Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15275) - you deserved it (3818)
On 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25847) - you deserved it (4697)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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