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twilightriforce

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twilightriforce

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 340
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About twilightriforce : "There is nothing worse than an enlightened idiot."

twilightriforce's page activity

Visits<b>wifi4ever</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 9:47am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 12:50am<b>Kaos_Yggdrasil</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 5:47am<b>lemonadestand</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 5:14am<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 6:05pm<b>thevip23</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 5:13pm<b>julia2750</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:43pm<b>xKrisSmoove</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:31pm<b>junpeiIori</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:45pm<b>raesos91</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:03pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:43am<b>liamjames2</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 12:34am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 2:50am<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 11:53pm<b>Dreamer4094</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 10:22pm<b>debz007</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 6:55pm<b>kldodson88</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 12:15pm<b>KraZyKaT963</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 11:40am

Fucked!<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 6:51am<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 12:05am

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twilightriforce's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34128) - you deserved it (6864)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29306) - you deserved it (5171)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, I got a flat tire. The spare was also flat, so I had no other choice but to walk home. I got to my house and realized I'd left the front door key and garage clicker in my car 5 miles away. FML

#20044019
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21062) - you deserved it (9473)

On 08/27/2012 at 3:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

#19986172
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26570) - you deserved it (3764)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by LOTRfail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
217 comments

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262
600 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44561) - you deserved it (11652)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML

#18271513
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40819) - you deserved it (5809)

On 11/17/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

#17661103
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50988) - you deserved it (6038)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

#14647585
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34972) - you deserved it (12014)

On 01/20/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by saddened97 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31029) - you deserved it (4391)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I told a girl she was beautiful on the inside and out. She still didn't sleep with me. FML

#7520375
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7606) - you deserved it (68820)

On 01/23/2010 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by MackeyBoy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

#1964368
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38254) - you deserved it (4439)

On 05/15/2009 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by dammitall (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I jokingly went over to a an attractive female co-worker and said "you look like you need a hug". She told me she wasn't feeling well and didn't want to be touched. No more than 30 seconds after our encounter she ran to give one of our more attractive male co-workers a hug. FML

#828756
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52473) - you deserved it (9627)

On 04/06/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by Lastsecondstand - United States (New York)

Today, I was having a one night stand with a guy. He told me he wanted to do it doggie style, I said okay, and as soon as I bent over on the bed, looked at me and said, "Let's do this with the lights off". FML

#232006
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47311) - you deserved it (12199)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by fjafja - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a co-worker superior to me called me "Stephanie" yet again. My name is Ashley. I politely informed her that my name is Ashley and subtely pointed to my work ID. Later, I get called into my supervisor's office. I got written up for correcting someone of higher status that I. FML

#219945
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62459) - you deserved it (3287)

On 03/05/2009 at 7:15pm - work - by yankeebelle (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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