Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

twilightriforce

Search for a member

twilightriforce
  • Town/Country : New jersey, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 203
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About twilightriforce : "There is nothing worse than an enlightened idiot."Will always remember and love you Molly. :)

twilightriforce's last visitors

Dreamer4094kldodson88KraZyKaT963nicolemaddenhailster17craven7786thatsdndn1

twilightriforce's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of twilightriforce's badges

twilightriforce's favorite FMLs

Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML

#18271513
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30893) - you deserved it (4130)

On 11/17/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

#17661103
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41324) - you deserved it (5083)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

#14647585
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25504) - you deserved it (8725)

On 01/20/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by saddened97 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to a strip club with friends. After accepting a dance offer from a cute girl, we went to the back room where she sat in my lap and told how I creeped her out because I looked like her ex-boyfriend. She talked the whole time. I paid $22 to get in the friend zone with a stripper. FML

#13618340
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13197) - you deserved it (14476)

On 10/27/2010 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23039) - you deserved it (3235)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I told a girl she was beautiful on the inside and out. She still didn't sleep with me. FML

#7520375
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4407) - you deserved it (43734)

On 01/23/2010 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by MackeyBoy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

#1964368
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29756) - you deserved it (3076)

On 05/15/2009 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by dammitall (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I jokingly went over to a an attractive female co-worker and said "you look like you need a hug". She told me she wasn't feeling well and didn't want to be touched. No more than 30 seconds after our encounter she ran to give one of our more attractive male co-workers a hug. FML

#828756
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45496) - you deserved it (7514)

On 04/06/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by Lastsecondstand - United States (New York)

Today, I was having a one night stand with a guy. he told me he wanted to do it doggie style. I said okay, and as soon as i bent over on the bed, looked at me and said "let's do this with the lights off". FML

#232006
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40646) - you deserved it (9928)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by fjafja - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a co-worker superior to me called me "Stephanie" yet again. My name is Ashley. I politely informed her that my name is Ashley and subtely pointed to my work ID. Later, I get called into my supervisor's office. I got written up for correcting someone of higher status that I. FML

#219945
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51511) - you deserved it (2307)

On 03/05/2009 at 7:15pm - work - by yankeebelle (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML

#197620
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25899) - you deserved it (66070)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by dad (man) - United States (Virginia)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2013 by