twilightriforce

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twilightriforce

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 701
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About twilightriforce : "There is nothing worse than an enlightened idiot."

twilightriforce's page activity

Visits<b>GaaraOfTheDesert</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 8:46pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 10:37pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 10:21am<b>zefronke8</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 9:34am<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 11:21am<b>wifi4ever</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 9:47am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 12:50am<b>Kaos_Yggdrasil</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 5:47am<b>lemonadestand</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 5:14am<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 6:05pm<b>thevip23</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 5:13pm<b>julia2750</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:43pm<b>xKrisSmoove</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:31pm<b>junpeiIori</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:45pm<b>raesos91</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:03pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:43am<b>liamjames2</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 12:34am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 2:50am

Fucked!<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 6:07am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 6:51am<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 12:05am

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twilightriforce's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2015 at 5:32am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2015 at 10:13pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

by Brody89 / 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I watched my daughter squealing with delight in front of a video game. Beating a boss? Slaying an adversary? Completing a quest? Not at all. She was chasing birds, making them fly away, then starting all over again as soon as they landed. She's 19. FML

by melimelo24 / 03/13/2014 at 5:33am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML

by Garchomp / 07/08/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (Kansas) / Work

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me screaming, "My precious!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm / United Kingdom (Thurrock) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was leaving my doctor's appointment when a nurse stopped me. She exclaimed, "Wow you are so skinny! What's your secret?" My secret? Having an autoimmune disease. FML

by HamSandwich12 / 05/08/2013 at 10:17am / United States (Ohio) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to be rushed to the hospital when I started sneezing uncontrollably and got a huge rash. It turns out I'm highly allergic to a chemical in most cleaning supplies. Great. I just got a job as a house cleaner for a very rich family. FML

by ava_henryy / 04/30/2013 at 4:04am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

by dancekat / 04/08/2013 at 5:17am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

by fuck you dad / 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm / France (Centre) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

by excusemeprincess / 02/11/2013 at 12:08pm / United States (New York) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

by thoughtidseenitall / 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML

by Mouse / 10/17/2012 at 7:15pm / Kids

Today, I witnessed my mother-in-law reach into my wife's purse and practically empty it out into her pocket. When I confronted her and called my wife into the room, both of them accused me of lying through my teeth, because I've always hated her. FML

by hate enough to kill... / 10/14/2012 at 4:57pm / Netherlands (Limburg) / Money