Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (yesterday at 9:33pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 381
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About twilightriforce : "There is nothing worse than an enlightened idiot."

twilightriforce's page activity

Visits<b>zefronke8</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 9:34am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 12:07am<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 11:21am<b>wifi4ever</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 9:47am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 12:50am<b>Kaos_Yggdrasil</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 5:47am<b>lemonadestand</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 5:14am<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 6:05pm<b>thevip23</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 5:13pm<b>julia2750</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:43pm<b>xKrisSmoove</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:31pm<b>junpeiIori</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:45pm<b>raesos91</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:03pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:43am<b>liamjames2</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 12:34am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 2:50am<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 11:53pm<b>Dreamer4094</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 10:22pm

Fucked!<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 6:07am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 6:51am<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 12:05am

twilightriforce's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of twilightriforce's badges

twilightriforce's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32359) - you deserved it (4458)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25548) - you deserved it (4033)

On 07/23/2015 at 10:13pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML


I agree, your life sucks (70416) - you deserved it (35714)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51426) - you deserved it (3417)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by Garchomp (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me while screaming, "My precious!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (45865) - you deserved it (7320)

On 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, I was leaving my doctor's appointment when a nurse stopped me. She exclaimed, "Wow you are so skinny! What's your secret?" My secret? Having an autoimmune disease. FML

Today, I had to be rushed to the hospital when I started sneezing uncontrollably and got a huge rash. It turns out I'm highly allergic to a chemical in most cleaning supplies. Great. I just got a job as a house cleaner for a very rich family. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45273) - you deserved it (2850)

On 04/30/2013 at 4:04am - health - by ava_henryy - United States (Washington)

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML


I agree, your life sucks (22158) - you deserved it (53474)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17632) - you deserved it (61795) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Centre)

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML


Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML


I agree, your life sucks (61893) - you deserved it (3828)

On 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by thoughtidseenitall (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27462) - you deserved it (2196)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:15pm - kids - by Mouse (woman) -

Today, I witnessed my mother-in-law reach into my wife's purse and practically empty it out into her pocket. When I confronted her and called my wife into the room, both of them accused me of lying through my teeth, because I've always hated her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27173) - you deserved it (1842)

On 10/14/2012 at 4:57pm - money - by hate enough to kill... (man) - Netherlands (Limburg)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: