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twilightriforce

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twilightriforce

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 322
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About twilightriforce : "There is nothing worse than an enlightened idiot."

twilightriforce's page activity

Visits<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - yesterday at 12:50am<b>Kaos_Yggdrasil</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 5:47am<b>lemonadestand</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 5:14am<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 6:05pm<b>thevip23</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 5:13pm<b>julia2750</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:43pm<b>xKrisSmoove</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:31pm<b>junpeiIori</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:45pm<b>raesos91</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:03pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:43am<b>liamjames2</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 12:34am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 2:50am<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 11:53pm<b>Dreamer4094</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 10:22pm<b>debz007</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 6:55pm<b>kldodson88</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 12:15pm<b>KraZyKaT963</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 11:40am<b>Sanser17</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 12:17am

Fucked!<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - yesterday at 6:51am<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 12:05am

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twilightriforce's favorite FMLs

Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML

#21446242
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24001) - you deserved it (3702)

On 07/23/2015 at 10:13pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65672) - you deserved it (32881)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML

#20771337
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49507) - you deserved it (3276)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by Garchomp (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me while screaming, "My precious!" FML

#20701776
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44887) - you deserved it (7212)

On 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, I was leaving my doctor's appointment when a nurse stopped me. She exclaimed, "Wow you are so skinny! What's your secret?" My secret? Having an autoimmune disease. FML

Today, I had to be rushed to the hospital when I started sneezing uncontrollably and got a huge rash. It turns out I'm highly allergic to a chemical in most cleaning supplies. Great. I just got a job as a house cleaner for a very rich family. FML

#20632205
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43704) - you deserved it (2725)

On 04/30/2013 at 4:04am - health - by ava_henryy - United States (Washington)

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21431) - you deserved it (52396)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML

#20545430
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17230) - you deserved it (60798) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Centre)

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

#20502217
175 comments

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

#20489402
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61117) - you deserved it (3769)

On 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by thoughtidseenitall (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML

#20121409
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25441) - you deserved it (1998)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:15pm - kids - by Mouse (woman) -

Today, I witnessed my mother-in-law reach into my wife's purse and practically empty it out into her pocket. When I confronted her and called my wife into the room, both of them accused me of lying through my teeth, because I've always hated her. FML

#20116821
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26009) - you deserved it (1758)

On 10/14/2012 at 4:57pm - money - by hate enough to kill... (man) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32185) - you deserved it (6618)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)



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