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twg11290

Offline (the 11/05/2014 at 3:25pm) | Search for a member

twg11290

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  • Number of visits : 910
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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twg11290's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 3:55pm

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twg11290's favorite FMLs

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

#20665284
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63410) - you deserved it (4134)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

#20664572
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51394) - you deserved it (8923)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

#20663182
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41907) - you deserved it (4066)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

#20660939
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77370) - you deserved it (5292)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

#20660456
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47477) - you deserved it (9093)

On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

#20660172
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40788) - you deserved it (4813)

On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

Today, my sisters and I pitched together nearly $500 to send my mom to the spa for Mother's Day. We put the printed sheet with her info into a little box with our card on top. When she opened it, she freaked out and started hugging my dad. Turns out he switched the cards and took all the credit. FML

#20658076
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57704) - you deserved it (3686)

On 05/12/2013 at 8:09am - misc - by lachaisse - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML

#20657738
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51366) - you deserved it (18265)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by peallow (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML

#20657738
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51366) - you deserved it (18265)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by peallow (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, my cousin thought it would be funny to make copies of my house keys and give it to random people on the street. I live alone and work a 12 hour shift daily. FML

#20657611
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51281) - you deserved it (3280)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by Baikal - Singapore

Today, my cousin thought it would be funny to make copies of my house keys and give it to random people on the street. I live alone and work a 12 hour shift daily. FML

#20657611
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51281) - you deserved it (3280)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by Baikal - Singapore

Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML

#20655918
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71154) - you deserved it (5053)

On 05/11/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by stephscort - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML

#20655660
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86747) - you deserved it (5478)

On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I told my family I'm going shopping with my friend "Emma". My sister's been teasing me about this saying, "Emma can't exist! She's not real! You don't have any friends." She's right. FML

#20650839
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42857) - you deserved it (12883)

On 05/08/2013 at 9:22pm - misc - by 19kwhatever (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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