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tweetypie

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tweetypie
  • Town/Country : NYC, Murica'
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 28 January 1995 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1038
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About tweetypie : I'm a buff baby who can dance like a man, I can shake'a my fanny,I can shake'a my can, I'm a tough tootin' baby,I can puncha your buns, I can puncha your buns,I can punch all your buns, If you're an evil witch,I will punch you for fun!

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tweetypie's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML

#1056557
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86227) - you deserved it (3809)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by wellesleybanana (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (328804) - you deserved it (35684)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I sat next to an attractive punk/rock guy on a plane. I decided to try to impress by playing music I thought he would like. I clicked The Who and opened a large window with the album cover, so he could see. The track then shuffled, and he was face to with a giant image of Miley Cyrus. FML

#333328
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13075) - you deserved it (103018)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:22am - love - by UH-OH (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML

#260982
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26878) - you deserved it (83083)

On 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

#250417
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23396) - you deserved it (85300)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by Ethan (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML

#233372
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60602) - you deserved it (15312)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by astroloser (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML

#194892
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6253) - you deserved it (73450)

On 03/03/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by noway6000 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML

#97434
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13586) - you deserved it (57959)

On 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, I wanted to join the bus drivers strike. I couldn't… the buses were on strike. FML

#473
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13299) - you deserved it (4009)

On 12/08/2008 at 9:03pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version



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