About tweetypie : ~There is only one rain cloud in the sky...and it's raining on me. Somehow I'm not surprised.
-Eeyore-
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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28911) - you deserved it (3191)
On 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by waj9876 - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my report card finally came in. My mom took one look at it and told me that if I'm not going to take my grades seriously, I might as well start looking for a sugar daddy. But first, I apparently need to work on prettying myself up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17934) - you deserved it (7056)
On 09/02/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by tryingtobepretty101 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was mugged by three guys. I fought back, and knocked one down. This made them angry, so they stole my clothes as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23665) - you deserved it (2366)
On 09/01/2011 at 11:24am - misc - by ScottishLad1 (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, I tried to back out of a spot in a parking garage. I did a 12 point turn, hit the car behind me and still didn't manage to get out of the spot. Everyone was staring at me, and the attendant had to come over and move my car for me. I have to park there every day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7879) - you deserved it (18414)
On 08/31/2011 at 7:07am - misc - by greatdriver...4 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, it's been a year since I've been with my girlfriend, and I think that I hate more things about her than I like. For instance, how she likes to throw furniture at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20490) - you deserved it (7091)
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25333) - you deserved it (4080)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22157) - you deserved it (3020)
On 08/25/2011 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Puppy Loverr - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18870) - you deserved it (1635)
On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16300) - you deserved it (29481)
On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I bought my cats two new litter boxes in hopes that they would use them. They still prefer to pee on the clothes in my closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16450) - you deserved it (4822)
On 08/18/2011 at 1:40pm - animals - by princessbbee - United States
Today, I got a really bad sunburn on my face while at the lake. Not to worry, though; my friends made me feel better by saying, "It takes the attention away from your acne." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21556) - you deserved it (2543)
On 08/15/2011 at 5:38pm - health - by Username - United States
Today, my 3 year old son's tricycle was stolen. I looked up the street and saw a neighbour's kid riding it. I marched up, gently lifted him off it, gave him a stern lecture about stealing and brought the tricycle back home. The cops then showed up. Apparently, the kid has an identical tricycle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10259) - you deserved it (29378)
On 08/15/2011 at 3:14pm - kids - by ollie179 - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24347) - you deserved it (9195)
On 08/08/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I went to Walmart to get some acne cream. As I approached the register, I looked in my wallet for the money. The cashier saw that I didn't have enough money, and before I could say anything, he goes "Just take it, I've never seen anyone who needs it that much!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32696) - you deserved it (2863)
On 08/07/2011 at 12:40am - misc - by Taylor D - United States (Virginia)
Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37081) - you deserved it (2676)
On 07/20/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by therundown - United States (Ohio)
Monday 20 May 2013
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