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tweetypie

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tweetypie
  • Town/Country : NYC, Murica'
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 28 January 1995 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1047
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About tweetypie : I'm a buff baby who can dance like a man, I can shake'a my fanny,I can shake'a my can, I'm a tough tootin' baby,I can puncha your buns, I can puncha your buns,I can punch all your buns, If you're an evil witch,I will punch you for fun!

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tweetypie's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my neighbors dressed up in the exact same costume as me. Every house I go to refuses to give me candy because my neighbor has already been there. FML

#18123545
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24055) - you deserved it (2213)

On 10/31/2011 at 8:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's jaw was swollen due to him not taking care of a cracked tooth. He's convinced it was actually caused by an STD, and accused me of giving it to him. FML

#18005500
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28700) - you deserved it (3076)

On 10/17/2011 at 8:12am - intimacy - by STIdiot (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's my sister's birthday. My parents got her a cat. I have serious allergies when it comes to cats. When I brought this issue up with my parents, they replied, "This day is not about you, it's about your sister." I can feel my throat tightening already. FML

#18005415
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32291) - you deserved it (2693)

On 10/17/2011 at 7:46am - health - by Cats...FML (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML

#18003683
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28903) - you deserved it (1773)

On 10/17/2011 at 12:20am - health - by blarp - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so that we can finally have sex. Turns out I have one. FML

#17979790
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17095) - you deserved it (47626)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by happybudiess - United States

Today, I lent my sister $1000 because she and her husband were in some debt. They used the money to go gambling in Vegas and won a major jackpot. They won't even give me a cut. FML

#17948553
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33191) - you deserved it (5552)

On 10/10/2011 at 12:04am - money - by cc - United States (Montana)

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22909) - you deserved it (3031)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, after we got home from the doctor's office, my mom checked the voicemail. Loud and clear, we both heard my boyfriend's break-up message. My parents had already forbidden me from dating. FML

#17928381
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15794) - you deserved it (22299)

On 10/07/2011 at 3:00pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a customer handed me the ankle-length hosiery she had just used to try on some shoes, and as I sat there feeling the warm dampness of them in the palm of my hand, she said "You should throw those away, I have a toe fungus." FML

#17916744
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26339) - you deserved it (2336)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my fiancé is in the market for a new girlfriend. How? He used my credit card to sign up for 3 dating sites. FML

#17818947
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27719) - you deserved it (2057)

On 09/24/2011 at 5:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I'm being admitted to the hospital for severe exhaustion. Why am I exhausted? For spending 12 hours at the hospital while my sister gave birth. The same hospital I'm being admitted to. FML

#17810811
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17753) - you deserved it (4977)

On 09/23/2011 at 1:47am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out my wife and three daughters all have their period on seperate weeks. I now have no break from yelling. FML

#17761753
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36769) - you deserved it (4460)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:39am - misc - by thedeerman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that one of my university flatmates arrived early for Freshers Week, and had a party which involved the place being trashed. I'm going to lose some of my deposit for damage caused before I even arrived. FML

#17759197
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19495) - you deserved it (1743)

On 09/16/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by Authentik8 (man) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

#17751753
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30002) - you deserved it (4085)

On 09/15/2011 at 4:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that the building I just moved into contains both a drummer and an opera singer. Both are very dedicated to their craft and practice frequently. FML

#17728385
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25561) - you deserved it (2927)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:00pm - misc - by OperaLover (man) - United States (New York)



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