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tweetypie

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tweetypie
  • Town/Country : NYC, Murica'
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 28 January 1995 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1046
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About tweetypie : I'm a buff baby who can dance like a man, I can shake'a my fanny,I can shake'a my can, I'm a tough tootin' baby,I can puncha your buns, I can puncha your buns,I can punch all your buns, If you're an evil witch,I will punch you for fun!

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tweetypie's favorite FMLs

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27103) - you deserved it (14185)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML

#18346585
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32286) - you deserved it (6883)

On 11/25/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by 14YearOld (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, things were getting heated with my girlfriend, so I tried taking her shirt off. Slapping my hands away, she said, "I was only dating you to get my self-confidence up, I'm good now." FML

#18333662
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37214) - you deserved it (3515)

On 11/24/2011 at 1:52am - intimacy - by Badab1ng - United States (Texas)

Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML

#18323585
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18505) - you deserved it (7009)

On 11/23/2011 at 1:40am - health - by OCDrunk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML

#18309491
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27828) - you deserved it (5312)

On 11/21/2011 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I walk into my grandma's house after having a fabulous lunch with a few friends. The first thing I hear is "Be a dear and help me change my colostomy bag." I lost that fabulous lunch. FML

#18295282
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20990) - you deserved it (3453)

On 11/20/2011 at 2:37am - misc - by NoThanksGrandma (woman) -

Today, I was using the bathroom and checking Facebook on my phone. As I'm checking my news feed, I notice a new photo upload by my brother. I guess I forgot to shut the door to the bathroom, because it's me on the toilet. FML

#18291924
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14129) - you deserved it (32429)

On 11/19/2011 at 7:52pm - misc - by beccabooyah - United States

Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML

#18291679
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8466) - you deserved it (57013)

On 11/19/2011 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML

#18253335
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26606) - you deserved it (2199)

On 11/15/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by SetoAyumi - United States (California)

Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML

#18251877
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15770) - you deserved it (7319)

On 11/14/2011 at 11:51pm - animals - by MY CAR (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

#18224618
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37243) - you deserved it (7524)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17001) - you deserved it (73802)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, in a large church youth group, we were told to write our current biggest trial on a piece of paper, crumple it up, and throw it in pile. I wrote "My mother's death and having to leave my friends and family." The one I picked up just said "math." FML

#18206362
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27060) - you deserved it (3347)

On 11/09/2011 at 10:52pm - misc - by Noslo (man) - United States (California)

Today, the motorway I usually use was closed off due to a major car accident. With no way off the freeway, my trip took three times longer than usual. I lost control of my bladder mid-way. FML

#18175852
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22694) - you deserved it (4829)

On 11/06/2011 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML

#18156228
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31883) - you deserved it (3751)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by tech_support (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)



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