About tweetypie : ~There is only one rain cloud in the sky...and it's raining on me. Somehow I'm not surprised.
-Eeyore-
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Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17252) - you deserved it (3862)
On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my wife and I had a huge fight. I was getting ready to go to sleep on the couch when she came downstairs and grabbed a very large metal spoon. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17188) - you deserved it (3222)
On 12/11/2011 at 10:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25136) - you deserved it (1621)
On 12/11/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)
Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19853) - you deserved it (2689)
On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - work - by Poorman (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16363) - you deserved it (2623)
On 12/07/2011 at 11:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9216) - you deserved it (31793)
On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -
Today, I saw a 10 dollar bill on the street, as I went to grab it, it was pulled away by a string. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was tricked by teenagers or that I tripped and fell as I went for it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20383) - you deserved it (5310)
On 12/06/2011 at 9:33am - health - by aceshot97 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17315) - you deserved it (1185)
On 12/06/2011 at 3:57am - work - by snarly1 - United States (California)
Today, I got the official word my wife is pregnant. Her sister, who lives with us, is also pregnant. I'm stuck in an apartment with two women due in late 2012. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28009) - you deserved it (3905)
On 12/06/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by brando2k5 - United States (Texas)
Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36884) - you deserved it (2195)
On 12/04/2011 at 6:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)
Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22072) - you deserved it (7668)
On 12/04/2011 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was terribly nervous for my patient interview exam as a 4th year medical student. In my nervousness I learned that just because a patient is wearing a T-shirt and shorts, has a short hair cut and a moustache and is named 'Chris', it is not safe to assume that they are male. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24959) - you deserved it (3314)
On 12/02/2011 at 9:40am - work - by Monday (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31483) - you deserved it (2259)
On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I ran into my boyfriend's ex. I decided to be a good person and hold the door for her as we walked into the store. She decided to be the bitch she is and stomp on my foot as she walked through the open doorway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24305) - you deserved it (4673)
On 11/27/2011 at 3:58am - love - by good citizen - United States
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25272) - you deserved it (11765)
On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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