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tweetypie

Offline (the 07/10/2014 at 1:37pm) | Search for a member

tweetypie

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 28 January 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1428
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 35 posted

About tweetypie : I like cheese fries.

tweetypie's page activity

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tweetypie's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42306) - you deserved it (36892)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML

#18705736
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26077) - you deserved it (2333)

On 01/04/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 9 month old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML

#18631898
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28880) - you deserved it (4527)

On 12/28/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 9 month old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML

#18631898
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28880) - you deserved it (4527)

On 12/28/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML

#18614402
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30879) - you deserved it (4967)

On 12/26/2011 at 6:48am - intimacy - by Sally - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML

#18588984
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23361) - you deserved it (4026)

On 12/23/2011 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after a long therapy session, in which I poured out all my feelings of how happy and in love I am with whom I believe to be my soul-mate, my shrink asked me if I was sure this guy wasn't a figment of my imagination. FML

#18576133
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24024) - you deserved it (3085)

On 12/22/2011 at 12:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML

#18568615
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14336) - you deserved it (19729)

On 12/21/2011 at 7:30am - intimacy - by Nicki (woman) - Canada

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

#18559363
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42045) - you deserved it (5032)

On 12/20/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Pimpleeater (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

#18556841
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7741) - you deserved it (41198)

On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

#18547021
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17323) - you deserved it (15257)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by fmT719 - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML

#18542625
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32202) - you deserved it (15614)

On 12/18/2011 at 5:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

#18519378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19481) - you deserved it (4901)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my wife and I had a huge fight. I was getting ready to go to sleep on the couch when she came downstairs and grabbed a very large metal spoon. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#18489765
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21435) - you deserved it (3656)

On 12/11/2011 at 10:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML

#18482161
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30127) - you deserved it (2216)

On 12/11/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)



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