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tweetypie

Offline (the 07/10/2014 at 1:37pm) | Search for a member

tweetypie

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 28 January 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1494
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 35 posted

About tweetypie : I like cheese fries.

tweetypie's page activity

Visits<b>andy594328</b> - 12 hours ago<b>alexmisty88</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 9:19am<b>blackhawkdown69</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 2:10pm<b>abombination</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 1:44am<b>Chineseaznxd</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:34pm<b>efettes</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 8:40pm<b>91hayek</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 4:56am<b>okcnation</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 1:03pm<b>Purrrvana</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 7:33am<b>dakid87</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 8:59am<b>Snugmybaby95</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 5:58am<b>Prerogative</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:23am<b>therosalina</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 1:51am<b>kiki9</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 10:38pm<b>coltonte3</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 2:32pm<b>druidboy</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 2:06pm<b>FuckYouScience12</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 1:38pm<b>Martyna0611</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:46pm

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tweetypie's favorite FMLs

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51889) - you deserved it (4562)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML

#21175899
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43603) - you deserved it (4922)

On 06/15/2014 at 8:21pm - work - by caleighrossi - United States (Iowa)

Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML

#21171186
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44142) - you deserved it (17869)

On 06/11/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to stand in line for twenty minutes at the bank, in between two of my ex-boyfriends. FML

#21168070
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47287) - you deserved it (10163)

On 06/09/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML

#21164043
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51929) - you deserved it (3759)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:05pm - kids - by bastards (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I was talking to one of my British friends online, and he told me to say "yew anchors" a few times really fast. I'm a fairly stupid person, and wasn't very focused, so I did as he said. When I finally figured what the words meant, my dad had heard and grounded me for cursing. FML

#21161539
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30670) - you deserved it (9095)

On 06/03/2014 at 11:36am - kids - by properpissed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44105) - you deserved it (8301)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45762) - you deserved it (5289)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML

#21128082
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23608) - you deserved it (34215)

On 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by Mortifiedcharityworker (woman) - Austria

Today, I went to a restaurant for a friend's birthday. There were two very attractive waiters. They waited until I went to the toilet to sit down, talk to my friends and hit on them. They promptly left upon my return. Men avoid me. FML

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

#21113787
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45825) - you deserved it (5946)

On 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by fuckyouharddad - United States (California)

Today, I went to a coffee shop. As I headed over to stand in line, I tripped over my own feet. I got back up, then tripped up yet again. Everyone was staring, and I was so mortified that I went to leave. I then struggled with the door under their glares before realising it opened the other way. FML

#21094549
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40226) - you deserved it (6052)

On 03/23/2014 at 7:02pm - misc - by butterbody - United Kingdom

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29501) - you deserved it (2471)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

#18859925
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16221) - you deserved it (34479)

On 01/20/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by MyHeadHurts (man) - Ireland

Today, I attempted to cheat on a test by writing some notes on my hand. During the test I had a question. I raised my hand. FML

#18855245
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6834) - you deserved it (74018)

On 01/19/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by tiptoesjohnson -



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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