About tweetypie : ~There is only one rain cloud in the sky...and it's raining on me. Somehow I'm not surprised.
-Eeyore-
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23821) - you deserved it (1794)
On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12307) - you deserved it (24003)
On 01/20/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by MyHeadHurts (man) - Ireland
Today, I attempted to cheat on a test by writing some notes on my hand. During the test I had a question. I raised my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5404) - you deserved it (54827)
On 01/19/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by tiptoesjohnson -
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41062) - you deserved it (36306)
On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21097) - you deserved it (1635)
On 01/04/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my 9 month old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23667) - you deserved it (3458)
On 12/28/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, my 9 month old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23667) - you deserved it (3458)
On 12/28/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27441) - you deserved it (4058)
On 12/26/2011 at 6:48am - intimacy - by Sally - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML
I agree, your life sucks (20209) - you deserved it (3165)
On 12/23/2011 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, after a long therapy session, in which I poured out all my feelings of how happy and in love I am with whom I believe to be my soul-mate, my shrink asked me if I was sure this guy wasn't a figment of my imagination. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20154) - you deserved it (2361)
On 12/22/2011 at 12:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13838) - you deserved it (19160)
On 12/21/2011 at 7:30am - intimacy - by Nicki (woman) - Canada
Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36124) - you deserved it (3828)
On 12/20/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Pimpleeater (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6876) - you deserved it (32680)
On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14296) - you deserved it (11810)
On 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by fmT719 - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26093) - you deserved it (11654)
On 12/18/2011 at 5:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
