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tweetypie

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tweetypie
  • Town/Country : The, Big Apple
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 28 January 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 676
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About tweetypie : ~There is only one rain cloud in the sky...and it's raining on me. Somehow I'm not surprised.

-Eeyore-

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tweetypie's favorite FMLs

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23821) - you deserved it (1794)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

#18859925
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12307) - you deserved it (24003)

On 01/20/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by MyHeadHurts (man) - Ireland

Today, I attempted to cheat on a test by writing some notes on my hand. During the test I had a question. I raised my hand. FML

#18855245
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5404) - you deserved it (54827)

On 01/19/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by tiptoesjohnson -

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41062) - you deserved it (36306)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML

#18705736
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21097) - you deserved it (1635)

On 01/04/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 9 month old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML

#18631898
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23667) - you deserved it (3458)

On 12/28/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 9 month old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML

#18631898
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23667) - you deserved it (3458)

On 12/28/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML

#18614402
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27441) - you deserved it (4058)

On 12/26/2011 at 6:48am - intimacy - by Sally - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML

#18588984
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20209) - you deserved it (3165)

On 12/23/2011 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after a long therapy session, in which I poured out all my feelings of how happy and in love I am with whom I believe to be my soul-mate, my shrink asked me if I was sure this guy wasn't a figment of my imagination. FML

#18576133
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20154) - you deserved it (2361)

On 12/22/2011 at 12:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML

#18568615
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13838) - you deserved it (19160)

On 12/21/2011 at 7:30am - intimacy - by Nicki (woman) - Canada

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

#18559363
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36124) - you deserved it (3828)

On 12/20/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Pimpleeater (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

#18556841
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6876) - you deserved it (32680)

On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

#18547021
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14296) - you deserved it (11810)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by fmT719 - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML

#18542625
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26093) - you deserved it (11654)

On 12/18/2011 at 5:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia



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