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twaumat

Offline (the 10/24/2014 at 7:52pm) | Search for a member

twaumat

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 November 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1554
  • Number of comments : 207
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About twaumat : I am far from perfect, but she loves me anyways

twaumat's page activity

Visits<b>JustTemporary</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 2:30am<b>kubackster</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 5:59pm<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 5:19am<b>Cassius326</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 2:21am<b>Emmalyne606777</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 8:49pm<b>this_comment</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 11:41am<b>KailaWayla</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:56am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 1:45pm<b>jentlemen</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 5:36pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:21pm<b>aclark2523</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 2:12pm<b>anonymous188</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 8:07am<b>xDochx</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 4:15am<b>Donkness</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 10:52pm<b>gingerface81</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 12:58am<b>RutnaPapagia</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 9:27am<b>hihello18</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 7:17am<b>xstrumaticx</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 8:49pm

twaumat's FML badges

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You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

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twaumat's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (270493) - you deserved it (17589)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After spending 20 minutes on the phone with AAA, and then waiting a half hour, the guy showed up, he stuck his hand in the drivers side window and asked, "You couldn't just reach in?" I forgot I left the window open. FML

#1054531
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10521) - you deserved it (98919)

On 04/17/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by .... (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

#1046980
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90355) - you deserved it (7347)

On 04/17/2009 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work. I pulled impatiently behind a long line of cars to make a right hand turn. I sat there for 5 minutes. Turns out there wasn't a line to make a right hand turn. I had been waiting behind a line of parked cars. FML

#888437
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10546) - you deserved it (64954)

On 04/09/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
928 comments

I agree, your life sucks (351490) - you deserved it (38737)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

#721846
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (176983) - you deserved it (11889)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, while working on a medical school application, I asked my mom what she thought my greatest challenge in life had been. She replied : "Trying to lose your virginity." FML

#122918
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72109) - you deserved it (5829)

On 02/24/2009 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by Dr. Virgin (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

#8816
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47791) - you deserved it (16911)

On 02/04/2009 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by PlayTag (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

#4708
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35341) - you deserved it (7579)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm - misc - by frankrizzo - Canada (Ontario)



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