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twaumat

Offline (the 10/24/2014 at 7:52pm) | Search for a member

twaumat

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 November 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1551
  • Number of comments : 207
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About twaumat : I am far from perfect, but she loves me anyways

twaumat's page activity

Visits<b>JustTemporary</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 2:30am<b>kubackster</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 5:59pm<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 5:19am<b>Cassius326</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 2:21am<b>Emmalyne606777</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 8:49pm<b>this_comment</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 11:41am<b>KailaWayla</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:56am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 1:45pm<b>jentlemen</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 5:36pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:21pm<b>aclark2523</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 2:12pm<b>anonymous188</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 8:07am<b>xDochx</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 4:15am<b>Donkness</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 10:52pm<b>gingerface81</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 12:58am<b>RutnaPapagia</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 9:27am<b>hihello18</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 7:17am<b>xstrumaticx</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 8:49pm

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twaumat's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving my car near a farm, I hit a man on the side of the road. I started freaking out and got out of the car to help him. It was then that I found out that I'd hit a scarecrow. FML

#19457431
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19028) - you deserved it (6414)

On 04/12/2012 at 7:53pm - misc - by questionmark707 (man) - United States (California)

Today, while driving my car near a farm, I hit a man on the side of the road. I started freaking out and got out of the car to help him. It was then that I found out that I'd hit a scarecrow. FML

#19457431
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19028) - you deserved it (6414)

On 04/12/2012 at 7:53pm - misc - by questionmark707 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36430) - you deserved it (3005)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to my Christian accountability partner from church to talk about continuing to maintain Christian values. We had sex. Oh, the irony. FML

#19409993
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8801) - you deserved it (37112)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Badchristian (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40179) - you deserved it (12382)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

#19274783
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6573) - you deserved it (27088)

On 03/13/2012 at 11:22pm - misc - by Emma Five (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

#19214836
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21553) - you deserved it (27206)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29143) - you deserved it (9278)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I told a customer that we don't do refunds. He responded by throwing his wallet at my face and accusing me of stealing it. FML

#19187266
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24775) - you deserved it (2107)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:47am - work - by wallets - United States

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26397) - you deserved it (1956)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

#19072659
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34574) - you deserved it (2627)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

#18981474
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15205) - you deserved it (21885)

On 02/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by coleslaw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

#18728006
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31692) - you deserved it (4841)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in geometry class, we were working in dead silence. Apparently my phone wasn't on vibrate, and I received 25 texts all at once, while it blasted "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of my back pocket. They weren't even texts from friends, just Facebook notifications. FML

#18417096
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9923) - you deserved it (31235)

On 12/03/2011 at 3:15am - misc - by Makala - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, in geometry class, we were working in dead silence. Apparently my phone wasn't on vibrate, and I received 25 texts all at once, while it blasted "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of my back pocket. They weren't even texts from friends, just Facebook notifications. FML

#18417096
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9923) - you deserved it (31235)

On 12/03/2011 at 3:15am - misc - by Makala - Egypt (Al Qahirah)



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