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twaumat

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twaumat

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 November 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1465
  • Number of comments : 207
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About twaumat : I am far from perfect, but she loves me anyways

twaumat's page activity

Visits<b>JustTemporary</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 2:30am<b>kubackster</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 5:59pm<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 5:19am<b>Cassius326</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 2:21am<b>Emmalyne606777</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 8:49pm<b>this_comment</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 11:41am<b>KailaWayla</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:56am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 1:45pm<b>jentlemen</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 5:36pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:21pm<b>aclark2523</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 2:12pm<b>anonymous188</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 8:07am<b>xDochx</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 4:15am<b>Donkness</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 10:52pm<b>gingerface81</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 12:58am<b>RutnaPapagia</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 9:27am<b>hihello18</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 7:17am<b>xstrumaticx</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 8:49pm

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You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

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twaumat's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

#20637584
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69819) - you deserved it (7853)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32688) - you deserved it (111782)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, while my boyfriend was in the kitchen, he got three text messages, all of which were from "Babe 2", "Babe 3", and "Babe 4". FML

#20607010
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55612) - you deserved it (6795)

On 04/20/2013 at 8:02am - love - by How strange - United States

Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML

#20602754
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42729) - you deserved it (12483)

On 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by thanks, my fellow americans - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while working in childcare, we went to a farm so the kids could see how things worked. They started showing off prize winning cattle and when they bought out "Miss Stacey", the kids lost their shit. My name is Miss Stacey. FML

#20550321
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31853) - you deserved it (2801)

On 03/19/2013 at 1:00am - work - by seriously! - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML

#20550446
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38212) - you deserved it (8316) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41750) - you deserved it (15684)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32890) - you deserved it (50801) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being a feeder, saying that's why she's been putting on so much weight. When I said it might be because she eats at McDonalds everyday, and that I was willing to start cooking low-calorie foods for us, she hit me. Then she went to McDonalds. FML

#20538059
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40833) - you deserved it (4757)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:03pm - love - by Raiden (man) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML

#20537800
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31074) - you deserved it (8295)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML

#20534297
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31385) - you deserved it (11439)

On 03/07/2013 at 1:07am - love - by Roses are Red - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42808) - you deserved it (5398)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55073) - you deserved it (4423) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML

#20513411
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42786) - you deserved it (2238)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29681) - you deserved it (4014)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)



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