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twaumat

Offline (the 08/26/2014 at 2:10am) | Search for a member

twaumat

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 November 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1393
  • Number of comments : 206
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About twaumat : I am far from perfect, but she loves me anyways

twaumat's page activity

Visits<b>JustTemporary</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 2:30am<b>kubackster</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 5:59pm<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 5:19am<b>Cassius326</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 2:21am<b>Emmalyne606777</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 8:49pm<b>this_comment</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 11:41am<b>KailaWayla</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:56am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 1:45pm<b>jentlemen</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 5:36pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:21pm<b>aclark2523</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 2:12pm<b>anonymous188</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 8:07am<b>xDochx</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 4:15am<b>Donkness</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 10:52pm<b>gingerface81</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 12:58am<b>RutnaPapagia</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 9:27am<b>hihello18</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 7:17am<b>xstrumaticx</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 8:49pm

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You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

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twaumat's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at his parents' house. I was overjoyed. His mom hugged me with tears in her eyes. His father, who never really spoke before, hugged me a few hours later when we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass and whispering, "I can change your mind." FML

#20788139
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66643) - you deserved it (3867)

On 07/17/2013 at 10:20am - misc - by ilivehere (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

#20778979
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63468) - you deserved it (4738)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:22am - love - by Stacy (woman) - United States

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52392) - you deserved it (9088)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58705) - you deserved it (10834)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML

#20749580
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25305) - you deserved it (45971)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by authorx - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58543) - you deserved it (3812)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, my boyfriend bought another expensive bong to go with the one he bought last month, along with his new phone, airsoft gun, and various other things he's blown our money on this year. He's bought nothing to prepare for our son, though, who's due next month. FML

#20729447
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45872) - you deserved it (24915)

On 06/16/2013 at 2:11pm - money - by InconsiderateMuch (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

#20727456
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39979) - you deserved it (3701)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#20724232
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53184) - you deserved it (6510)

On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56977) - you deserved it (9861)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

#20713899
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68329) - you deserved it (12871)

On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML

#20701422
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61500) - you deserved it (5861)

On 06/02/2013 at 3:00pm - intimacy - by Kay (woman) - India (Andhra Pradesh)

Today, my mom scolded me and threatened to ground me for coming home past midnight. Normally, it wouldn't be unreasonable, except for the fact that I'm 24 years old, and that my parents live with me, in my own house. FML

#20677848
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51214) - you deserved it (4891)

On 05/21/2013 at 2:30pm - misc - by mammasboy - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother tried to convince me to get a clitoris piercing at his recently opened piercing studio. FML

#20668963
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59634) - you deserved it (6034)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)



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