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turtlesarerad14

Offline (the 10/21/2014 at 5:59am) | Search for a member

turtlesarerad14

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 October 1997 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 314
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About turtlesarerad14 : I have a turtle named Turtilina and I love her to death.

turtlesarerad14's page activity

Visits<b>Elgaard</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 2:32am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 3:20pm<b>XcuzimsotiredX</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 2:05pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 2:54pm<b>angelicdevil</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 4:37am<b>FluffyHat</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 10:19pm<b>FatherofTime87</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 3:14am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 3:11am<b>andy594328</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 4:55pm<b>homesuckfucker</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:38pm<b>thepanakuukanap</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 5:20pm<b>mustaline</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 5:25pm<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 8:40am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 7:41am<b>reallynow1910</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 7:27am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 10:47pm<b>ComMeNeMoMo</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 12:00am<b>Blee864</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 1:15pm

turtlesarerad14's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of turtlesarerad14's badges

turtlesarerad14's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

Today, I went to a coffee shop. As I headed over to stand in line, I tripped over my own feet. I got back up, then tripped up yet again. Everyone was staring, and I was so mortified that I went to leave. I then struggled with the door under their glares before realising it opened the other way. FML

#21094549
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40526) - you deserved it (6097)

On 03/23/2014 at 7:02pm - misc - by butterbody - United Kingdom

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

#21091737
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38192) - you deserved it (4315)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm - work - by systematicpanic (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I left a message for a potential employer. It wasn't until after I'd hung up that I realized I'd given them their own phone number to call me back at. Not getting that job. FML

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59458) - you deserved it (25796)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, I ran for the first time in ages when I saw my bus coming. My loose shoe went flying into a shop doorway, and I tripped into the gutter. FML

#21009861
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32815) - you deserved it (6009)

On 12/29/2013 at 10:52pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48859) - you deserved it (6445)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML

#20933884
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43831) - you deserved it (4828)

On 10/25/2013 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

#20860284
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44268) - you deserved it (2866)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55881) - you deserved it (4422)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene and told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

#20840638
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36009) - you deserved it (5508)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:33pm - misc - by that's methed up, darling (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45841) - you deserved it (3502)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

#20524189
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37835) - you deserved it (6049)

On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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