About turtles4life : I love animals and my pic is of my new puppy Loki! I also have a kitty and she is my baby ❤️
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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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turtles4life's favorite FMLs
Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm / Spain (Comunidad Valenciana) / Animals
by stopinthenameoflove / 06/19/2014 at 10:37am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love
Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML
by caleighrossi / 06/15/2014 at 8:21pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML
by idiotson / 06/10/2014 at 8:39pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML
by jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck / 06/09/2014 at 5:45pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Animals
by bananna / 05/29/2014 at 11:18am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by Idk / 05/29/2014 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, at school, I got seated in front of the resident creepy kid that everyone stayed away from. I was pretty relieved to get through most of the class with no incidents, until the bell rang and he tore out a chunk of my hair, yelling "DNA! DNA!" FML
by Laura / 05/27/2014 at 11:58am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Love
by PsychoBillyGoat / 05/25/2014 at 8:47pm / United States (Alaska) / Animals
by Anonymous / 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my cat decided to hide in the garbage can so he could get a free trip outside, but was too fat to climb all of the way inside of it. He got stuck half-way in. It took me ten minutes to get him out. FML
by LyraAlluse / 05/18/2014 at 7:35pm / United States (Arizona) / Animals
by chellegbelle / 05/14/2014 at 5:46pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals
Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML
by Anonymous / 04/30/2014 at 1:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
- Today, I found out what "supersoaked" means. I thought it meant getting shot by a water gun, which… Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis… Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled…