turtles4life

Search for a member

Offline (the 07/08/2015 at 12:13am)

turtles4life

2Fucked!

turtles4lifeturtles4life
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3289
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About turtles4life : I love animals and my pic is of my new puppy Loki! I also have a kitty and she is my baby ❤️

turtles4life's page activity

Visits<b>Miss_Whipped</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 3:41am<b>whoaitsamber</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 1:49pm<b>eureka03</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 9:10am<b>alcalaboy5</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 12:10pm<b>HairIsEverything</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 11:13am<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 11:41am<b>Epiccake</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 4:54pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:11am<b>Clam_igger</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 2:59pm<b>mrjc</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:25pm<b>ilovemsminaj</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 7:59am<b>olpally</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 1:12am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 12:57am<b>DylanHasClass</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 12:49am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 11:35pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 10:03pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 8:15pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 7:58pm

Fucked!<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 4:03am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 5:06pm

turtles4life's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of turtles4life's badges

turtles4life's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm / Spain (Comunidad Valenciana) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

by stopinthenameoflove / 06/19/2014 at 10:37am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML

by caleighrossi / 06/15/2014 at 8:21pm / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML

by idiotson / 06/10/2014 at 8:39pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

by jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck / 06/09/2014 at 5:45pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Animals

Today, I found out our newborn snores worse than his father. FML

by bananna / 05/29/2014 at 11:18am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

by Idk / 05/29/2014 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, at school, I got seated in front of the resident creepy kid that everyone stayed away from. I was pretty relieved to get through most of the class with no incidents, until the bell rang and he tore out a chunk of my hair, yelling "DNA! DNA!" FML

by Laura / 05/27/2014 at 11:58am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my wife's cat ran away. After spending a lot of money making "Lost Cat" flyers and driving around for hours passing them out and searching for her cat, he walked downstairs. FML

by PsychoBillyGoat / 05/25/2014 at 8:47pm / United States (Alaska) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat decided to hide in the garbage can so he could get a free trip outside, but was too fat to climb all of the way inside of it. He got stuck half-way in. It took me ten minutes to get him out. FML

by LyraAlluse / 05/18/2014 at 7:35pm / United States (Arizona) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out my neighbor collects body-bags. FML

by chellegbelle / 05/14/2014 at 5:46pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2014 at 1:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals