turtles4life

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Offline (the 07/08/2015 at 12:13am)

turtles4life

2Fucked!

turtles4lifeturtles4life
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3084
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About turtles4life : I love animals and my pic is of my new puppy Loki! I also have a kitty and she is my baby ❤️

turtles4life's page activity

Visits<b>Miss_Whipped</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 3:41am<b>whoaitsamber</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 1:49pm<b>eureka03</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 9:10am<b>alcalaboy5</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 12:10pm<b>HairIsEverything</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 11:13am<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 11:41am<b>Epiccake</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 4:54pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:11am<b>Clam_igger</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 2:59pm<b>mrjc</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:25pm<b>ilovemsminaj</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 7:59am<b>olpally</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 1:12am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 12:57am<b>DylanHasClass</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 12:49am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 11:35pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 10:03pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 8:15pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 7:58pm

Fucked!<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 4:03am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 5:06pm

turtles4life's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of turtles4life's badges

turtles4life's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

by pasquale / 09/20/2014 at 2:54am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

by tbree / 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I realized how truly insecure I really am, when the guy in the show I'm watching looked straight into the camera and I immediately looked away. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2014 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

by very punny / 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

by cat lady / 08/30/2014 at 7:56am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

by JackieD / 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

by humdrummitydrum / 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm / United States / Health

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:16am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, the left side of my head has officially declared its independence. Half of my hair is now curly, the rest is totally flat. FML

by anonyme / 07/30/2014 at 2:51am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

by Face fucking palm / 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working as a barista, a customer yelled about her muffins and butter not being ready since she only had a "short time to eat". There were 7 tip giving customers ahead of her, but I rushed her order. She gave no tip and stayed for over an hour. FML

by anonymous / 07/16/2014 at 10:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

by ADanceWithDavos / 07/07/2014 at 11:59am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

by carebear1228 / 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I spent the whole day doing a 500 piece puzzle. The last piece didn't fit. FML

by Puzzlepiece / 06/28/2014 at 10:08am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous