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turtles4life

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turtles4life

2Fucked!

turtles4lifeturtles4life
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2033
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About turtles4life : I love animals and my pic is of my new puppy Loki! I also have a kitty and she is my baby ❤️

turtles4life's page activity

Visits<b>Miss_Whipped</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 3:41am<b>whoaitsamber</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 1:49pm<b>eureka03</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 9:10am<b>alcalaboy5</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 12:10pm<b>HairIsEverything</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 11:13am<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 11:41am<b>Epiccake</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 4:54pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:11am<b>Clam_igger</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 2:59pm<b>mrjc</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:25pm<b>ilovemsminaj</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 7:59am<b>olpally</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 1:12am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 12:57am<b>DylanHasClass</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 12:49am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 11:35pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 10:03pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 8:15pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 7:58pm

Fucked!<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 4:03am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 5:06pm

turtles4life's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

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turtles4life's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41842) - you deserved it (11657)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

#21261625
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33987) - you deserved it (5279)

On 09/20/2014 at 2:54am - misc - by pasquale - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41156) - you deserved it (3974)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, I realized how truly insecure I really am, when the guy in the show I'm watching looked straight into the camera and I immediately looked away. FML

#21253498
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36966) - you deserved it (4948)

On 09/07/2014 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45441) - you deserved it (5927)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41102) - you deserved it (9530)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38497) - you deserved it (14872)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43773) - you deserved it (6228)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49319) - you deserved it (21298)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35303) - you deserved it (11549)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, while working as a barista, a customer yelled about her muffins and butter not being ready since she only had a "short time to eat". There were 7 tip giving customers ahead of her, but I rushed her order. She gave no tip and stayed for over an hour. FML

#21211312
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40884) - you deserved it (4948)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:46pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53282) - you deserved it (7247)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43086) - you deserved it (4311)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51547) - you deserved it (4416)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)



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