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turtles4life

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turtles4life

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 651
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About turtles4life : I love animals and my pic is of my new puppy Loki! I also have a kitty and she is my baby ❤️

turtles4life's page activity

Visits<b>mosquito19</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:07am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 2:22pm<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 6:43am<b>gruvychild</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 4:48am<b>jellenwood</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 12:42am<b>emilyflathmann</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 11:27pm<b>sadpanda86</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 7:27pm<b>HLinc</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 4:57pm<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 2:21pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 11:06am<b>PianoPlayer007</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 8:39am<b>afallingstar</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 8:19am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 6:55am<b>SirAnon</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 4:08pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 9:32pm<b>Paco_el_Taco</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 12:41am<b>ROMAD</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 3:58pm<b>shine999</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:54pm

Liked!<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 5:06pm

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turtles4life's favorite FMLs

Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31903) - you deserved it (11392)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34273) - you deserved it (3706)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

#21271220
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35192) - you deserved it (3007)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38036) - you deserved it (9774)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

#21261625
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32357) - you deserved it (4858)

On 09/20/2014 at 2:54am - misc - by pasquale - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39612) - you deserved it (3572)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, I realized how truly insecure I really am, when the guy in the show I'm watching looked straight into the camera and I immediately looked away. FML

#21253498
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35374) - you deserved it (4706)

On 09/07/2014 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43629) - you deserved it (5276)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40847) - you deserved it (9483)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36627) - you deserved it (13757)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42071) - you deserved it (5967)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49123) - you deserved it (21239)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



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