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turtlemanz

Offline (the 10/17/2014 at 8:46am) | Search for a member

turtlemanz

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 December 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1000
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About turtlemanz : Canadian

turtlemanz's page activity

Visits<b>XxduckiexX</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 11:10pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 2:31pm<b>ThunderTheRad</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 2:33pm<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 1:29pm<b>Khivt</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 4:57pm<b>bryan1271999</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 4:04am<b>Wrex</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 10:06am<b>hannah_banana99</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 10:29pm<b>mkayden</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 4:53pm<b>Musicismylife98</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 8:40am<b>02159956</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 8:12am<b>kangasfwa</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 6:49pm<b>akirakuran42</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 6:33pm<b>Raveen</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 4:58pm<b>BodyCountEndless</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 4:30pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 2:34pm<b>SadisticStephyy</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 2:32pm<b>Pwobbles</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 1:56pm

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turtlemanz's favorite FMLs

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53027) - you deserved it (23628)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

#3373378
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15217) - you deserved it (49112)

On 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

#3241027
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44910) - you deserved it (26762)

On 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by LondonKitsch (woman) - United States

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83784) - you deserved it (221834)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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