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turtlemansam

Offline (the 05/27/2014 at 6:04am) | Search for a member

turtlemansam

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 October 1980 (33 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1448
  • Number of comments : 118
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About turtlemansam : Im Sam.

turtlemansam's page activity

Visits<b>JackDaddy13</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 7:49pm<b>xMrsCarlilex</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 3:02pm<b>purplebabytacos1</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 4:23am<b>Journiexo</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 11:12pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 3:17pm<b>Tuffmuffin</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 3:00pm<b>Daylightscar</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 9:27pm<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 4:11am<b>odod777</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:09am<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 11:10pm<b>Iwannabetreo</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 8:57pm<b>0117</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:20pm<b>pandasaresocute</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 6:28pm<b>swasher</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:06pm<b>zarosian</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 4:43pm<b>chance12497</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 6:37pm<b>Carrotop12</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 3:20pm<b>Donkness</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 7:49pm

turtlemansam's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

turtlemansam's favorite FMLs

Today, after a long and tiring day at work, I went to the movies, loaded up on soda, popcorn, and candy. I ended up falling asleep and being woken up two hours later by an usher. FML

#16732224
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23334) - you deserved it (7564)

On 06/18/2011 at 5:49pm - misc - by Stormy - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

#16725871
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9602) - you deserved it (100716)

On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States

Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML

#14024877
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29576) - you deserved it (3503)

On 11/29/2010 at 4:17pm - kids - by nybaby - United States (New York)

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

#13896400
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36770) - you deserved it (12447)

On 11/19/2010 at 2:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I went to get a box of cereal and I knocked over a bottle of olive oil. It took me about half an hour to clean up. When I finally finished, I found out the box of cereal was empty. FML

#13842142
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22524) - you deserved it (3800)

On 11/14/2010 at 3:33pm - misc - by cerealfail -

Today, I was following a makeup tutorial on YouTube. The girl said to apply concealer to any "problem areas" on my face. When I was done, 90% of my face was covered in concealer. FML

#13653489
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24058) - you deserved it (5384)

On 10/30/2010 at 7:46pm - misc - by demaris (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to listen to my mother flirting on the phone with my dad's new girlfriend's ex-husband. FML

#13109561
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26638) - you deserved it (2436)

On 09/19/2010 at 3:31am - love - by messyfamily (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to listen to my mother flirting on the phone with my dad's new girlfriend's ex-husband. FML

#13109561
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26638) - you deserved it (2436)

On 09/19/2010 at 3:31am - love - by messyfamily (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML

#10894032
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26854) - you deserved it (63919)

On 05/31/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by anonomus - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that my parents rooted through our house looking for junk to sell at a garage sale. They sold all of my books from my bookshelf. When I freaked, out my mom said 'well you never read them'. There was about $300 hidden between the pages of those books. They made $60. FML

#4854155
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44699) - you deserved it (8675)

On 08/27/2009 at 2:58am - misc - by gonebabygone - United States (Arizona)

Today, my drunk uncle threw my brand new iPhone 3GS into my pool, ruining it completely. When I asked him to pay for the 600 dollar replacement cost, he said he wasn't responsible for his drunken actions. All of my family members are on his side. FML

#4539683
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67868) - you deserved it (3846)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:32am - money - by Shadyblood (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I had gone to the store and bought a new wallet. 5 minutes later a security guard asks for my receipt. Turns out I had dropped my receipt. Some guy had picked it up and pretended I had stole his wallet. The guard confiscated my wallet because the guy had "his" receipt to prove it. FML

#409168
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95122) - you deserved it (7668)

On 03/17/2009 at 8:16am - money - by Recon (man) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

#161178
998 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71087) - you deserved it (740400)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML

#6
440 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88321) - you deserved it (40315)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:19am - love - by mocass’1 (woman) - France



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