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turtlemansam

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turtlemansam
  • Town/Country : Plymouth, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 October 1980 (33 years)
  • Number of visits : 1342
  • Number of comments : 118
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About turtlemansam : Im Sam.

turtlemansam's last visitors

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turtlemansam's favorite FMLs

Today, after a long and tiring day at work, I went to the movies, loaded up on soda, popcorn, and candy. I ended up falling asleep and being woken up two hours later by an usher. FML

#16732224
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20662) - you deserved it (7176)

On 06/18/2011 at 5:49pm - misc - by Stormy - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

#16725871
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8871) - you deserved it (96303)

On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States

Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML

#14024877
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27726) - you deserved it (3323)

On 11/29/2010 at 4:17pm - kids - by nybaby - United States (New York)

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

#13896400
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34608) - you deserved it (11920)

On 11/19/2010 at 2:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I went to get a box of cereal and I knocked over a bottle of olive oil. It took me about half an hour to clean up. When I finally finished, I found out the box of cereal was empty. FML

#13842142
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20013) - you deserved it (3524)

On 11/14/2010 at 3:33pm - misc - by cerealfail -

Today, I was following a makeup tutorial on YouTube. The girl said to apply concealer to any "problem areas" on my face. When I was done, 90% of my face was covered in concealer. FML

#13653489
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21492) - you deserved it (5050)

On 10/30/2010 at 7:46pm - misc - by demaris (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to listen to my mother flirting on the phone with my dad's new girlfriend's ex-husband. FML

#13109561
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24637) - you deserved it (2268)

On 09/19/2010 at 3:31am - love - by messyfamily (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to listen to my mother flirting on the phone with my dad's new girlfriend's ex-husband. FML

#13109561
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24637) - you deserved it (2268)

On 09/19/2010 at 3:31am - love - by messyfamily (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML

#10894032
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25984) - you deserved it (62527)

On 05/31/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by anonomus - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that my parents rooted through our house looking for junk to sell at a garage sale. They sold all of my books from my bookshelf. When I freaked, out my mom said 'well you never read them'. There was about $300 hidden between the pages of those books. They made $60. FML

#4854155
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38873) - you deserved it (6944)

On 08/27/2009 at 2:58am - misc - by gonebabygone - United States (Arizona)

Today, my drunk uncle threw my brand new iPhone 3GS into my pool, ruining it completely. When I asked him to pay for the 600 dollar replacement cost, he said he wasn't responsible for his drunken actions. All of my family members are on his side. FML

#4539683
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65802) - you deserved it (3684)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:32am - money - by Shadyblood (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my mom suspected me of doing marijuana. She went and bought a home-drug test and sent me to the bathroom. As I went in, I realized there was already pee in the toilet. I scooped that instead of my own and handed it to my mom. It came up positive. My sister used the bathroom last. She's 12. FML

#569324
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29582) - you deserved it (70916)

On 03/24/2009 at 12:19am - health - by smokythebear (man) - United States

Today, I had gone to the store and bought a new wallet. 5 minutes later a security guard asks for my receipt. Turns out I had dropped my receipt. Some guy had picked it up and pretended I had stole his wallet. The guard confiscated my wallet because the guy had "his" receipt to prove it. FML

#409168
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88524) - you deserved it (6971)

On 03/17/2009 at 8:16am - money - by Recon (man) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

#161178
992 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58863) - you deserved it (643384)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML

#6
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82292) - you deserved it (37694)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:19am - love - by mocass’1 (woman) - France



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