Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

turtle_turtle_4

Online | Search for a member

turtle_turtle_4

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 December 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2037
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About turtle_turtle_4 : Hi, I'm Morgan. I like turtles. That is all :).

turtle_turtle_4's page activity

Visits<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 3:09pm<b>WyattDaBoss</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 1:15am<b>SavannahSunshine</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 5:03am<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:30pm<b>tangerine06</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 12:24am<b>tennischamp5</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 9:38pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 8:41pm<b>Internetdude</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 10:56am<b>kanue28</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 12:58am<b>INDYSTRUCTABLE</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 9:48am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 2:43am<b>Welshite</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 2:16pm<b>BigBootyBenches</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 4:32pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 2:48pm<b>ijayp</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 7:20pm<b>1tsmenoah</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 5:35pm<b>moksha</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 5:41am<b>mathen</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 10:35am

turtle_turtle_4's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of turtle_turtle_4's badges

turtle_turtle_4's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

#21238375
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37617) - you deserved it (3766)

On 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by meltdowninrels (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42420) - you deserved it (6961)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39938) - you deserved it (4506)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend of a couple of weeks mixed up my name with his ex wife's name. After he said it, he looked at me and said, "You knew it was going to happen." FML

#21196800
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38930) - you deserved it (6820)

On 07/02/2014 at 11:12pm - love - by thatsnotmyname - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45986) - you deserved it (8300)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

#21176688
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43943) - you deserved it (9917)

On 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

#21171266
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42699) - you deserved it (5096)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Turns out that bouncers don't think it's a problem for girls to go up on stage and make out with the musicians. FML

#21151747
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43794) - you deserved it (5345)

On 05/25/2014 at 11:34pm - misc - by Anothermoose - United States (California)

Today, I was looking at some cellphones with my dad, when an assistant asked if we needed help. My dad said, "Yeah, does this have parental controls? My son watches some freaky stuff, some damn freaky stuff." I don't watch anything weird, but thanks for humiliating me, dad. FML

#21135688
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39546) - you deserved it (4092)

On 05/10/2014 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25357) - you deserved it (42984)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55706) - you deserved it (7797)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38221) - you deserved it (11410)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, in an attempt to potty train my step-son, my boyfriend and I put underwear on him, hoping that when he peed himself, he would realize using the potty is the way to go. Instead, he peed while sitting on the couch, got up, took off the underwear, and then switched seats. FML

#21106771
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36960) - you deserved it (11992)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while reading the paper I saw a picture of a guy I really like that I met online. The picture is in the obituaries. No wonder he hasn't called. FML

#21103818
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45214) - you deserved it (3602)

On 04/03/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by kubbyp (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

#21092859
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43985) - you deserved it (5744)

On 03/21/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: