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turtle_love94

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turtle_love94

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 31 March 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 99
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About turtle_love94 : Green Day. Turtles. My boyfriend. Longwood University. Life.

turtle_love94's page activity

Visits<b>NippleLicker</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 3:06pm<b>tacojauns</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 11:05am<b>rageandlove13</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 9:07pm

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turtle_love94's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60489) - you deserved it (9138)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32707) - you deserved it (111915)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

#20601896
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53372) - you deserved it (8643)

On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States

Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML

#20503300
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26094) - you deserved it (16740)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Thai rice mistake - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

#20498382
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23197) - you deserved it (3210)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML

#20006198
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8027) - you deserved it (29978)

On 08/06/2012 at 6:08pm - misc - by :$ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML

#19591291
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16445) - you deserved it (30042)

On 05/08/2012 at 7:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML

#19563136
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31491) - you deserved it (6141)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
518 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54024) - you deserved it (313000)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML

#125152
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16986) - you deserved it (44299)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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