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About turtle266 : Sometimes I think my life is fucked!
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41800) - you deserved it (6819)
On 08/16/2009 at 3:05am - health - by irony (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I left my brand new iPhone on the counter, and went to get its cleaning cloth. My grandmother saw a mosquito, and used my iPhone as a fly swatter. I now have a broken iPhone. Good news though: no more mosquito. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40421) - you deserved it (3706)
On 08/05/2009 at 7:04am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)
Today, I ran into my crush of three years ago. We used to always walk our dogs together. He still remembered my dog's name. He didn't remember mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41392) - you deserved it (2380)
On 06/24/2009 at 6:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Today, I went to write "Happy Bday, I Love You" on my girlfriend's car windows to surprise her when she woke up. I was the one who got the surprise when I saw her, in her backseat, having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60970) - you deserved it (2081)
On 06/24/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice, we were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes she asked me "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?". She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36835) - you deserved it (2325)
On 06/23/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Jpah (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43778) - you deserved it (3073)
On 06/17/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, it was my girlfriends birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65531) - you deserved it (4184)
On 06/09/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by SURPRISE (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are suppose to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here FML." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16512) - you deserved it (55084)
On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)
Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53784) - you deserved it (5333)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Jinthebar (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got 20% tints on my car. As I'm driving home, a cop pulls me over. I didn't want to ruin my new tint by opening my window, so I opened my door as the cop approached. He then pulled out his gun and yelled "GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND!" before I could explain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32739) - you deserved it (40973)
On 04/13/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by italy1986 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, it was my 24th birthday. I got a card from my sister reading: "Here's to another year of complete disregard for age-appropriate developmental milestones." She was right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7963) - you deserved it (1475)
On 01/17/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by nothreat33 - United States (Maryland)
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