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turtkko

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turtkko

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 January 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1908
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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turtkko's page activity

Visits<b>bayy1432</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 6:24pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 9:34pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:35pm<b>TheGolfGTI</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 3:46pm<b>NylaDobson</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:31am<b>winchestinalock</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:36pm<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 6:34pm<b>mayleennyc</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:03pm<b>anonymous188</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 12:03am<b>JMichael</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 8:54pm<b>ollie179</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 11:52am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 12:37am<b>DocBastard</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 5:10pm

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turtkko's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML

#21461710
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16049) - you deserved it (2935)

On 08/28/2015 at 1:18pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, at my sister's wedding, I got my 15 month old son to 'sign' the big guest book. I gave him a pen and was hoping for a cute little squiggle or something. But no, he managed to draw something that looked uncannily like a big swastika. FML

#21459659
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12698) - you deserved it (12264)

On 08/23/2015 at 12:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML

#21459438
162 comments

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

#21458825
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23738) - you deserved it (6113)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:25am - kids - by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay (man) - Malta

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo, because she loves tigers. Correction: she used to love tigers, until one sprayed urine on her from a distance of four meters. FML

#21458732
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21369) - you deserved it (5041)

On 08/21/2015 at 1:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I decided to sunbathe in my backyard in an attempt to be healthy. The result? Insect bites over my body. Somehow, despite being fully clothed the entire time, my scrotum also received several bites. FML

#21457959
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15918) - you deserved it (9640)

On 08/19/2015 at 7:34am - health - by julian1 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, it's been a week since I started farting in my sleep for no apparent reason. It's so frequent and so foul-smelling that my husband and I are both losing sleep and are having to take afternoon naps to make up for it. FML

#21457512
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18579) - you deserved it (2179)

On 08/18/2015 at 6:59am - misc - by Fartnonymous (woman) - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)

Today, I was on hold with a company for so long that I was able to shower, clean my house, and was using the hold music to put my son to sleep. FML

Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML

#21457219
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21313) - you deserved it (1655)

On 08/17/2015 at 3:56pm - misc - by hbt51 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up panting and drenched in sweat from a horrible nightmare. I'd been dreaming that bright, colored shapes were falling from the sky and I couldn't make them all neatly align with one another on the ground. I guess I should stop playing so much Tetris before bed. FML

#21453585
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20830) - you deserved it (4447)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:56pm - misc - by I love L (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

#21443162
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26487) - you deserved it (3212)

On 07/17/2015 at 7:04pm - misc - by AK-47 (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I stayed over at my boyfriend's house for the first time. He soon found out about my sleep-talking habit. I started ranting about "electron shaming" and I apparently passionately support their "sub-atomic lifestyle". Yes, he managed to get it on video. FML

#21439547
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26030) - you deserved it (3009)

On 07/10/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by wantmeasandwich (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29732) - you deserved it (3699)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

#21420563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30546) - you deserved it (3326)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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