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turtkko

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turtkko

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 January 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 399
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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turtkko's page activity

Visits<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 6:34pm<b>mayleennyc</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:03pm<b>anonymous188</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 12:03am<b>JMichael</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 8:54pm<b>ollie179</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 11:52am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 12:37am<b>DocBastard</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 5:10pm

turtkko's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

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turtkko's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37447) - you deserved it (4179)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML

#21258867
79 comments

Today, a guy tried to pick me up with the line, "You're ugly. Just kidding. You're my date." FML

Today, my roommate decided that because she has an oral report due, she's going to scream at the top of her lungs until she loses her voice to get out of it. It's been two hours and she refuses to stop. FML

#21252777
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37446) - you deserved it (2292)

On 09/06/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by why me? - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32131) - you deserved it (7492)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

#21246644
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35381) - you deserved it (6385)

On 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44623) - you deserved it (7540)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML

#21225439
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39170) - you deserved it (4346)

On 07/31/2014 at 1:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I have really painful pimples on my upper lip. I'm a professional trombonist, and every note causes excruciating pain. FML

#21220657
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37488) - you deserved it (4485)

On 07/25/2014 at 10:06pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52042) - you deserved it (16835)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I accidentally ripped out my boyfriend's insulin pump while trying to give him a lapdance. FML

#21148769
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47676) - you deserved it (14971)

On 05/22/2014 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML

#21145558
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45702) - you deserved it (5285)

On 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm - kids - by Baby eater - United States (Tennessee)



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