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turkishjew

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turkishjew
  • Town/Country : Pittsburg, u.s.a
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 502
  • Number of comments : 89
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About turkishjew : Well if you're looking at this page then you probably want to know me and I don't blame you.
I'm a bit of a grammar nazi unless I'm just relaxing on FML. I'm an acquired taste. If you don't like me then that's you're loss. My ego is so big that it's borderline swagger. I play football, baseball, and hockey(hockey Is my favorite) I love life and I am at peace with god, what more could you ask for?

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turkishjew's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a music shop looking for a new guitar when someone called out someone else's name and jumped on my back. I lost balance and fell forward and broke 3 guitars and damaged another 6. The guy said "Sorry, thought you were someone else" and ran out. I now have to pay £2500. FML

#3741776
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59411) - you deserved it (2657)

On 07/14/2009 at 9:39am - money - by SomeoneElse (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML

#3368467
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73732) - you deserved it (10880)

On 06/30/2009 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in the basement at my grandma's house. The bathroom is on the ground floor and there's a laundry chute that goes down to the basement. I looked through the chute to see if the bathroom light was on. A pair of shitty underpants came down and landed in my face. They were my grandma's. FML

#3078532
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34039) - you deserved it (9780)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by yuck (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79301) - you deserved it (19067)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML

#2464831
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55534) - you deserved it (7412)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Heather (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother". FML

#2271321
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72868) - you deserved it (4277)

On 05/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML

#1713391
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52848) - you deserved it (5225)

On 05/07/2009 at 8:39am - love - by TrulyYours (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, a man came up to me and asked for a $50 bill in change? Being a good man i said "sure." I gave him the change and he gave me the $50 bill. As I walk into starbucks to buy a coffee, I handed the casheir my fifty dollar bill, she called the cops. It was counterfeit. FML

#1611269
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42628) - you deserved it (19407)

On 05/03/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by supermanj76 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

#1600602
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112161) - you deserved it (5484)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked into the ladies restroom and was shocked to see the guy I've had a huge crush on for two years. Peeing. In the sink. FML

#1413224
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52505) - you deserved it (4797)

On 04/28/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was really stressed about a guy he works with being a jerk. I told him "if you ignore something long enough, it won't bother you anymore." His response was "I've ignored my herpes for a long time but it still bothers me." We've been having sex for 3 months now. FML

#511174
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (115491) - you deserved it (18201)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

#448904
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28063) - you deserved it (129993)

On 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by Melaknee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother called me and told me that she went to the hospital. This wasn't a surprise 'cos she normally goes to the hospital for the smallest things. So, I was a smart ass and asked, "What now? You finally have lung cancer from all those cigarettes?" Apparently, she does. FML

#398759
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21277) - you deserved it (90685)

On 03/16/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by cannabis_this420 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783
518 comments

I agree, your life sucks (468466) - you deserved it (23775)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the fitting room of the store I worked in smelled really bad. The customers started to complain and since I was on fitting room duty I went to go investigate. A middle aged woman pooped on the floor and then put the chair on top to cover it. FML

#181468
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96964) - you deserved it (4091)

On 03/02/2009 at 8:38am - work - by fittingroompotty (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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