Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

turkishjew

Search for a member

turkishjew

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 645
  • Number of comments : 89
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About turkishjew : Well if you're looking at this page then you probably want to know me and I don't blame you.
I'm a bit of a grammar nazi unless I'm just relaxing on FML. I'm an acquired taste. If you don't like me then that's you're loss. My ego is so big that it's borderline swagger. I play football, baseball, and hockey(hockey Is my favorite) I love life and I am at peace with god, what more could you ask for?

turkishjew's page activity

Visits<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 5:52am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:41am<b>facelick</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 8:07pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 11:23pm<b>nineteen99</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 10:01pm<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 1:38pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 7:46pm<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 3:54pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 9:47pm<b>Girosrabing</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 7:45am<b>PretenderProfile</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 1:46am<b>merpqwertijgdv</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 10:52pm<b>SydneyGrey</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 8:48pm<b>ged</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 3:05pm<b>kegley</b> - the 11/26/2011 at 11:46am

turkishjew's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

turkishjew's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that every day without fail, the muffins I've been making and giving to my husband for work have been hitting speeding cars' windshields. FML

#14344893
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21872) - you deserved it (3769)

On 12/26/2010 at 10:47am - misc - by muffdriver (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113382) - you deserved it (15279)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. He then told me that he will love me forever, wait for me and will follow me to the ends of the earth. Apparently, that means standing outside my door and calling my house phone every five minutes. It's been 3 hours straight now. FML

#14138501
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32254) - you deserved it (8397)

On 12/09/2010 at 1:00am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML

#14000546
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14458) - you deserved it (38627)

On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I caught my dad eating the dog treats I'd bought for my dog. The only thing he could say was "These are really good, no wonder the dog is so obedient. Wanna try one?" FML

#13684464
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22348) - you deserved it (3169)

On 11/02/2010 at 3:13am - animals - by treats - Singapore

Today, I told my parents I no longer believe in the religion they strictly raised me under. They responded by kicking me out of the house. I'm broke, jobless and the only person that will take me in is my psycho ex-girlfriend who never got over me. FML

#13165960
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33431) - you deserved it (14950)

On 09/23/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by non believer - United States (Washington)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44449) - you deserved it (9773)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I found out that the man who came into work yesterday, the man who tried to grope me from over the counter, the one who spat his drink in my face, the one who kicked me in the shins when he didn't like the way his food tasted, is a regular and I can expect him three times a week. FML

#13019582
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28895) - you deserved it (2132)

On 09/12/2010 at 12:52pm - work - by yeahno (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a school football game alone. I sat next to these hot girls. To seem cool, I picked up my phone and had a fake conversation with the coolest guy in the grade. Halfway through, he came over and talked to the girls. FML

#12997934
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6928) - you deserved it (55014)

On 09/11/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after going on a blind date with a man I had met on facebook, we decided to go back to his apartment. All was going good until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML

#12929120
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38330) - you deserved it (18452)

On 09/06/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

#12332692
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40902) - you deserved it (3461)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took my driving test for the first time. The instructor stopped it after less than ten minutes, and insisted she drive back to the test centre "in the interest of public safety." FML

#12000759
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11036) - you deserved it (36347)

On 07/20/2010 at 9:33am - misc - by Speedy (woman) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

#10870202
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35977) - you deserved it (7328)

On 05/30/2010 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I received an award from my school rewarding me for my honor roll and my cheerleading. When I brought the certificate home my mom congratulated me and hugged me. I worked really hard for this and all my dad had to say was, "Try this flavor of Doritos." FML

#10496358
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22224) - you deserved it (7507)

On 05/12/2010 at 10:18pm - misc - by honorstudent - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25210) - you deserved it (56194)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: