turkishjew

Search for a member

turkishjew

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 988
  • Number of comments : 89
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About turkishjew : Well if you're looking at this page then you probably want to know me and I don't blame you.
I'm a bit of a grammar nazi unless I'm just relaxing on FML. I'm an acquired taste. If you don't like me then that's you're loss. My ego is so big that it's borderline swagger. I play football, baseball, and hockey(hockey Is my favorite) I love life and I am at peace with god, what more could you ask for?

turkishjew's page activity

Visits<b>sheepcart89</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 2:19am<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:01am<b>facelick</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 2:12pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 11:17pm<b>Salixth</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 3:11am<b>shupwhup</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 1:59pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 12:53am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 3:43pm<b>CVP3</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:01am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 5:05pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 5:52am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:41am<b>Allornone</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 11:23pm<b>nineteen99</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 10:01pm<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 1:38pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 7:46pm<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 3:54pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 9:47pm

turkishjew's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

turkishjew's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that every day without fail, the muffins I've been making and giving to my husband for work have been hitting speeding cars' windshields. FML

by muffdriver / 12/26/2010 at 10:47am / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

by uglywoman / 12/14/2010 at 3:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. He then told me that he will love me forever, wait for me and will follow me to the ends of the earth. Apparently, that means standing outside my door and calling my house phone every five minutes. It's been 3 hours straight now. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2010 at 1:00am / Love

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I caught my dad eating the dog treats I'd bought for my dog. The only thing he could say was "These are really good, no wonder the dog is so obedient. Wanna try one?" FML

by treats / 11/02/2010 at 3:13am / Singapore / Animals

Today, I told my parents I no longer believe in the religion they strictly raised me under. They responded by kicking me out of the house. I'm broke, jobless and the only person that will take me in is my psycho ex-girlfriend who never got over me. FML

by non believer / 09/23/2010 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that the man who came into work yesterday, the man who tried to grope me from over the counter, the one who spat his drink in my face, the one who kicked me in the shins when he didn't like the way his food tasted, is a regular and I can expect him three times a week. FML

by yeahno / 09/12/2010 at 12:52pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I went to a school football game alone. I sat next to these hot girls. To seem cool, I picked up my phone and had a fake conversation with the coolest guy in the grade. Halfway through, he came over and talked to the girls. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2010 at 12:01am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, after going on a blind date with a man I had met on facebook, we decided to go back to his apartment. All was going good until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML

by anonymous / 09/06/2010 at 3:37am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

by kiki / 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I took my driving test for the first time. The instructor stopped it after less than ten minutes, and insisted she drive back to the test centre "in the interest of public safety." FML

by Speedy / 07/20/2010 at 9:33am / United Kingdom (Durham) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2010 at 8:27pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, I received an award from my school rewarding me for my honor roll and my cheerleading. When I brought the certificate home my mom congratulated me and hugged me. I worked really hard for this and all my dad had to say was, "Try this flavor of Doritos." FML

by honorstudent / 05/12/2010 at 10:18pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

by bleredoshia / 04/08/2010 at 12:27am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Kids