turkishjew

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turkishjew

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 807
  • Number of comments : 89
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About turkishjew : Well if you're looking at this page then you probably want to know me and I don't blame you.
I'm a bit of a grammar nazi unless I'm just relaxing on FML. I'm an acquired taste. If you don't like me then that's you're loss. My ego is so big that it's borderline swagger. I play football, baseball, and hockey(hockey Is my favorite) I love life and I am at peace with god, what more could you ask for?

turkishjew's page activity

Visits<b>sheepcart89</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 2:19am<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:01am<b>facelick</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 2:12pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 11:17pm<b>Salixth</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 3:11am<b>shupwhup</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 1:59pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 12:53am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 3:43pm<b>CVP3</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:01am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 5:05pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 5:52am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:41am<b>Allornone</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 11:23pm<b>nineteen99</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 10:01pm<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 1:38pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 7:46pm<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 3:54pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 9:47pm

turkishjew's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

turkishjew's favorite FMLs

Today, two guys proclaiming that they were both Batman attacked me on the street. FML

by The Joker? / 07/31/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Iowa) / Health

Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML

by Tallulah / 07/29/2011 at 2:56am / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Love

Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML

by FML / 07/29/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

by toni405 / 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm / United States / Love

Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML

by xBubbles38 / 07/18/2011 at 11:17am / United States / Kids

Today, after a stressful week, I spent my last few dollars on some comfort food. Later, my roommate's girlfriend came over and helped herself to my juice, drinking it straight from the bottle. I'm such a germaphobe, I can't bring myself to even take a sip. It's a full bottle. FML

by adamclmns / 07/16/2011 at 6:52pm / United States (Arkansas) / Health

Today, after working all day and putting in hours of overtime, I realized I never clocked in. FML

by Brian / 07/16/2011 at 3:19pm / United States / Work

Today, I found out that the 2 loud "firework booms" I heard were actually a guy shooting his dog on the unfinished road behind my house. FML

by oopsies / 07/04/2011 at 5:11am / United States / Animals

Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML

by monquiqui / 07/04/2011 at 1:45am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, a car hit me while I was in a crosswalk. The driver jumped out of her car and stepped over me to check her car for damage. FML

by Username / 06/15/2011 at 1:07am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

by julia / 06/11/2011 at 7:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML

by Sola / 05/11/2011 at 12:10am / Geek

Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML

by Anonymous / 02/20/2011 at 10:28pm / Canada / Health

Today, I got home from my holidays to find my flatmate has moved his girlfriend in without asking me. Not only does she walk around naked, she has also redecorated the rooms. FML

by iluvpeanutbutter / 01/29/2011 at 1:13am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boss walked in and said something I didn't quite hear, but my co-worker chuckled so to be polite, I laughed with him. They gave me some weird looks. My boss was actually talking about his wife's tumor and my co-worker was coughing. FML

by sucks / 01/05/2011 at 2:41am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Work