turkishjew

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turkishjew

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 935
  • Number of comments : 89
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About turkishjew : Well if you're looking at this page then you probably want to know me and I don't blame you.
I'm a bit of a grammar nazi unless I'm just relaxing on FML. I'm an acquired taste. If you don't like me then that's you're loss. My ego is so big that it's borderline swagger. I play football, baseball, and hockey(hockey Is my favorite) I love life and I am at peace with god, what more could you ask for?

turkishjew's page activity

Visits<b>sheepcart89</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 2:19am<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:01am<b>facelick</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 2:12pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 11:17pm<b>Salixth</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 3:11am<b>shupwhup</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 1:59pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 12:53am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 3:43pm<b>CVP3</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:01am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 5:05pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 5:52am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:41am<b>Allornone</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 11:23pm<b>nineteen99</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 10:01pm<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 1:38pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 7:46pm<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 3:54pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 9:47pm

turkishjew's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

turkishjew's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML

by Jace / 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Love

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom (Bexley) / Animals

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

by candymansvan17 / 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 9:00am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, while driving into work, a guy cut me off and I yelled some nasty things out of my window at him. He heard me, followed me to work, took a baseball bat out and then chased me into the office. He also smashed my windshield on his way out. FML

by erineilis / 08/16/2011 at 10:22am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I walked in on my mom ranting on about what a useless bitch I am. She was talking to my cat. It's not the first time this has happened, either. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2011 at 3:32pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I learned the hard way that taking a 20 mile bike ride with my boyfriend's family the day after losing my virginity is the worst decision ever. FML

by anonymous / 08/13/2011 at 2:58am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

by bTOhno / 08/13/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML

by 6u174r_d00d / 08/10/2011 at 5:10pm / United States / Love

Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML

by Nekro_Kat / 08/09/2011 at 11:00pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, while cleaning the bathroom in a suite at the hotel I work at, I heard a couple come in, and then a marriage proposal. She said no, that she had been seeing someone else and left the room. I was then alone in the bathroom, listening to a grown man sob. FML

by smurfpoo / 08/09/2011 at 3:35am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I learned from the noise outside my window that construction workers start their days at 5 AM. FML

by LH0026 / 08/06/2011 at 5:28am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I went mud wrestling for the first time at a mud bog. After a day of fun and getting cleaned up, I realized that my mom's ring was no longer on my finger. FML

by meganridner / 08/04/2011 at 12:05pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

by scully11 / 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML

by iannie / 07/31/2011 at 5:45pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love