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turkishhotpocket

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turkishhotpocket

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 141
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About turkishhotpocket : your gay

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turkishhotpocket's favorite FMLs

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

#20833620
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47279) - you deserved it (3209)

On 08/12/2013 at 11:24am - health - by nutfreak (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

#20817313
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49701) - you deserved it (8428)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by lights on forever (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56706) - you deserved it (5511)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

#20814794
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67268) - you deserved it (5802)

On 08/01/2013 at 3:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML

Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

#20791178
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40632) - you deserved it (3013)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

#20790198
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53540) - you deserved it (4003)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I overheard my ripped, handsome, genetically perfect brother telling my mom how "fat people" make him "nervous". I have only recently accepted my weight, after struggling for years. I now understand why my brother rarely talks to me. FML

#20790160
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47823) - you deserved it (6144)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:53am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML

#20788678
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45339) - you deserved it (4940)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:13pm - love - by fuck family (woman) - Poland (Dolnoslaskie)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75905) - you deserved it (3696)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

#20749556
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48670) - you deserved it (4601)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47283) - you deserved it (13484)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

#20743211
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53412) - you deserved it (7858)

On 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm - kids - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58527) - you deserved it (3811)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam



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