turfvirtuoso

Search for a member

turfvirtuoso

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 445
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

turfvirtuoso's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:04pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 11:19am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 1:04am

turfvirtuoso's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

turfvirtuoso's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in the car with my mom. We were discussing my brother, how he's been screwing up majorly lately and she blamed it on his friends. Then she turned to me and said, "It's a good thing you've never had any friends." FML

by Amanda / 12/13/2010 at 11:29am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML

by Icy / 10/01/2009 at 2:59am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I picked up my 17 years old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said "so you are the daddy" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a ho and I a perv. FML

by enderw / 06/16/2009 at 1:22pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of no where and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says "I always knew you were a whore." FML

by Stairway2Heaven / 03/02/2009 at 4:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML

by Salaryman / 02/15/2009 at 1:21am / Philippines (Rizal) / Work

Today, my wife left me the following voicemail: “Alex, last night was amazing. You took me to places I’ve never been to before. I can’t wait to see you tonight after work.” My name is Rob. We haven’t had sex in two years. FML

by Barrel / 02/05/2009 at 2:57am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy