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turdontoast

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turdontoast
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 September 1987 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 229
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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turdontoast's favorite FMLs

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

#20579781
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12009) - you deserved it (44779)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

#20193528
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18351) - you deserved it (2953)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML

#19998313
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29533) - you deserved it (2910) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/02/2012 at 9:00am - love - by opinaise - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27645) - you deserved it (2871)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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