Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
This member hasn't filled in the description.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I collected mah new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all mah classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead an have no idea how I supposedly died. big fat FML
Today, I Was Playing With Mah Phone After Midnight, An I Kept Getting Calls From A Withheld Number . The Guy Just Breathed Heavily An Wouldn't Speak . When The Thrd Call Came, I Asked ( Who The Hell R You? ) The Call Ended, An Mah Dad Yelled From Outside Mah Door: ( ME! Now Go To Sleep! ) FML
Today , I woke up to mah 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow!! I askd him wat he was doing , and he replid that he and Steve were playing a game , but Steve said I have to be asleep 4 it!! Steve is mah son's imaginary friend!! I'm convincd Steve wants to kill me!! FML
Today...hile working as a swim instructor... I started singing the hokey pokey to get all the kids used to putting there faces in the water. One of the kids was covering his ears. When I asked himhy... he said "because u were singing." He's 3. mega FML
Today , after giving me mah very first orgasm , mah boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about mah orgasm face. Apparently it remindd him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessd girl , and it really freakd him out. FML
Today, I was watcing ma 3-year-old sister play in te battub . Se started screaming at er toys, saying "You're staying under te water until you DIE!" Se ten looked at me and cackled . I sare a room wit tis demon cild . big fat FML
Today, mah 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test cummed back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML
Today, I found a bell that had been tied into the tassel of mah ski hat by mah twin sister as part of a longstanding prank war between us. I'm deaf an have apparently been jingling like an elf for over a week. FML
Friday 27 March 2015