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tuckhil

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tuckhil

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  • Number of visits : 137
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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tuckhil's favorite FMLs

Today, mah mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around mah neck . My sister added that it was God's frst attempt to kill me off . big fat FML

Today, I collected mah new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all mah classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead an have no idea how I supposedly died. big fat FML

#20867417
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50203) - you deserved it (2598)

On 09/04/2013 at 11:59am - work - by resurrected - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today mah loneliness reachd a new level when I befriendd the fly looool in mah apartment Mr . Stickyfoot . FML

#20866691
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34853) - you deserved it (6298)

On 09/03/2013 at 9:32pm - misc - by JustAnotherFML23 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I Was Playing With Mah Phone After Midnight, An I Kept Getting Calls From A Withheld Number . The Guy Just Breathed Heavily An Wouldn't Speak . When The Thrd Call Came, I Asked ( Who The Hell R You? ) The Call Ended, An Mah Dad Yelled From Outside Mah Door: ( ME! Now Go To Sleep! ) FML

#20860349
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38872) - you deserved it (13149)

On 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm - kids - by thanks, dad... (woman) - Romania (Maramures)

Today , I woke up to mah 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow!! I askd him wat he was doing , and he replid that he and Steve were playing a game , but Steve said I have to be asleep 4 it!! Steve is mah son's imaginary friend!! I'm convincd Steve wants to kill me!! FML

#20842823
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52239) - you deserved it (3133)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today...hile working as a swim instructor... I started singing the hokey pokey to get all the kids used to putting there faces in the water. One of the kids was covering his ears. When I asked himhy... he said "because u were singing." He's 3. mega FML

#20842523
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39386) - you deserved it (6058)

On 08/18/2013 at 12:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today , after giving me mah very first orgasm , mah boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about mah orgasm face. Apparently it remindd him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessd girl , and it really freakd him out. FML

#20816805
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60270) - you deserved it (7639)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:08am - intimacy - by right (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I was watcing ma 3-year-old sister play in te battub . Se started screaming at er toys, saying "You're staying under te water until you DIE!" Se ten looked at me and cackled . I sare a room wit tis demon cild . big fat FML

#20814477
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50058) - you deserved it (3697)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:03am - kids - by ktiskool (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I came back from vacation only to fine mah 16-year-old son was throwing looool a party with over 30 kids in our house. My 33-year-old sister was having fun dancing on a table. mega FML

Today, mah 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test cummed back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

#20777059
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62719) - you deserved it (10870)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I let 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on phone while I made her lunch!! I returned to find she had dropped phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends!! FML

#20776430
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47448) - you deserved it (17422)

On 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm - kids - by thanks, Nemo. - United States (Wisconsin)

Today... my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53096) - you deserved it (9162)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that mah ex-grlfriend gives out mah number to guys who ask 4 hers. Let's just say that I'll never be able to unsee the pictures that were sent to me. FML

#20768089
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53761) - you deserved it (4745)

On 07/07/2013 at 1:21am - intimacy - by nomorenakedpicsplease - Canada (Alberta)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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