tswizz

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Offline (the 07/05/2015 at 3:51am)

tswizz

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 April 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1147
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tswizz's page activity

Visits<b>Roxy4102</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 9:38pm<b>suprisebitch</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 1:57pm<b>PickledSweets</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 11:23am<b>Badkarma4u</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 7:56am<b>mmmxr</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 10:45am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 2:06pm<b>ExtremeEncounter</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 6:57am<b>NoCraicAtAll</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 6:48am<b>blinked_281</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 7:56am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:36pm<b>Orion_Knight78</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 5:07pm<b>ezrocks4u</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 2:35am<b>regenerate</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 5:02pm<b>gaysunshine</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 1:40am<b>RoseBlack123</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 1:43pm<b>LtBoom</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 6:27am<b>niceipads</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 10:49am

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 8:06pm

tswizz's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of tswizz's badges

tswizz's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML

by Single / 12/04/2012 at 11:17am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Love

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML

by Stung / 02/10/2012 at 9:13am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

by notsohappilyeverafter / 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2011 at 2:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend informed me that since he's doing a project with a girl in his class and carpooling with her in the morning, she'll be sleeping over at his house. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2010 at 3:10pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was chosen out of 64 women to model for the catalog of a new clothing store. Just when my self-confidence took a dramatic boost, I looked at the evaluation sheet. I was picked due to attributes such as my "extra large figure and average face" to make below average women feel beautiful. FML

by apparentlyugly / 08/29/2010 at 1:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

by liu_kang / 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm / United States / Health

Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2009 at 6:52am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend asked if she should get birthcontrol, of course I said yes and offered to pay the 55 dollar fee. She got her physical and pills and then dumped me the next day. I basically paid 55 dollars so that she can sleep with other people. FML

by charlieday / 09/21/2009 at 12:34pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, while getting my hair done, I was annoyed that the beautician was not paying attention while straightening my hair. After asking her three times to watch what she was doing, I grabbed the iron and said "let me do it, you're going to burn me!". I then burned two layers of skin off my ear. FML

by jerkgirl / 04/08/2009 at 1:18am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 7:24am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

by Noname / 11/09/2008 at 4:18am / Health