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Offline (the 11/24/2014 at 6:01am) | Search for a member
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TODAY... I WAS HAMMARAD... AN ON MY WAY HOMA I WALKAD INTO A POLICAMAN. MY LOGIC WAS: IF I'M ON THA PHONA... HA CAN'T TALK TO MA... SO I PULLAD MY PHONA OUT AN STARTAD SPAAKING. THA OFFICAR THAN ASKAD MA WHY I WAS SPAAKING TO MY WALLAT. FML
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my nieghbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
Today , mah son looool got a beating. Apparently , he went to a club , waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo , then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Thier boyfriends , not too surprisingly , didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML
Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. big fat FML
Today , I witnessd my psyco neigbor puttd er cat in a cage , cross into my backyard , and set te cage down before returning to er ouse . Se ten calld te cops and claimd I'd stolen er cat . Te cops didn't believe my side of te story for a second . FML
Friday 27 March 2015