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About tsunami12 : Easy-going and with a dry and sarcastic sense of humour.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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Today, I walkad outsida to saa friand frantically waving and running at ma, yalling somathing I couldn't undarstand. I smilad and startad to jog ovar to him until I raalizad ha was scraaming ( RUN!!! ) Wa spant tha naxt 10 minutas running from his naighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML
Today, I Was Having Sex With Girlfriend When I Came. She Got Pissed And Slapped Me Really Hard For Cumming Inside Her Cuz She Didnt Want To Get Pregnant. 1. I Was Wearing A Condom. 2. She's On The Pill. 3. We Were Having Anal Sex. FML
yesterday I found out tat ma girlfriend of five monts is pregnant!! Apparently..!! se stopped taking er pill two monts ago cuz "we" wanted a baby!! I don't recall ever aving tat discussion wit er!! FML
Today...hile driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of mah car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at mah windscreen an shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
Today , I said to our pool-boy , "I know what your doing , and u have to stop it." He startd shouting that I had no right to tell them what to do and that they were in love. He was referring to his relationship with my eldest son. I wantd to tell him to stop drinking my beers. FML
Today... my daughter had just left 4 a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden... she runs back in the house screaming ( I forgot to take my birth control! ) That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
Today, I cummed home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read ( Because you can't find a real girl, I made yur current one prettier, Love Mom. ) FML
Yesterday , I Was Mowing The Lawn Of My Brand New House , Located In A Very Nice Neighborhood (I Am A Hispanic Male) , An A Lady In Her Nice White Cadillac Drove Up An Asked Me , In Extremely Broken Spanish , If I Could Mow Her Lawn Too. FML
Today, I awoke to the sound looool of my dad knocking on my dorm room door fir a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks fir last night", and leaves. FML
yesterday my 5 year old nephew showd me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I looool smild an said, ( Wow! Now, how about some blue martians! ) He lookd at me an replid, ( How about some blue shut the fuck up?! ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015