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trukillapanda

Offline (the 08/14/2014 at 10:48pm) | Search for a member

trukillapanda

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50 favourites

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trukillapanda's favorite FMLs

Today, while my 4 year old nephew was hugging me, he stepped back and declared, "Auntie, my Pee-do is hard, but it will go away." FML

#11033
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31459) - you deserved it (2825)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by Fag_Hag (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19983) - you deserved it (34060)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was hitting on a girl that was getting ready to walk into the same class as I. We were waiting outside the room, and I told her that I heard the Professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down in a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

#2109
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9381) - you deserved it (31134)

On 01/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by footinmouth - United States (Iowa)

Today, the guy I've had a crush on for a while called me and asked me over. I took a cab to his place and when I got there he was dressed in leather and wore a mask... It took me a 20 dollar cab fare to realize my crush is a freak. FML

#1507
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30897) - you deserved it (6542)

On 01/17/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by Allenburg - United States (California)

Today, my partner and I were informed by the man we had a three-way with, the first one after having finally screwed up the courage to do it, that he has mono. I don't feel so good. FML

#1345
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9647) - you deserved it (33036)

On 01/16/2009 at 8:36am - intimacy - by fd - United States (Alabama)

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

#687
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26037) - you deserved it (2017)

On 01/02/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received a text message from my girlfriend saying: "Do you remember last time we slept together?", I answer straight away "Of course I do, it was great!". To which she replies: "I hope you made the most of it: it was the last". FML

#676
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24876) - you deserved it (2150)

On 01/02/2009 at 12:37am - love - by Godmish - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML

#419
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18906) - you deserved it (10013)

On 11/30/2008 at 5:51am - misc - by Groom - Sent from mobile version

Today, during a lunch I said "It must be awful to realize that you've been cheated on!". One of the men present had just found out that he had been. I then try to correct my tactlessness by saying "The worst must be when your wife leaves you for another woman". Which was also the case. FML

#399
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22311) - you deserved it (8501)

On 11/27/2008 at 7:34am - misc - by lovely-sweet - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was looking for a magazine in my mother's bedside cabinet and I came across some daft test about sex. Apparently, my mother likes anal, oral, and my dad's cock is bent. Nauseous. FML

#386
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37959) - you deserved it (8926)

On 11/25/2008 at 3:54am - intimacy - by mael - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent the night in hospital. As soon as I was alone, I writhed and twisted in all directions in my attempts to pee in a bottle left precisely for that purpose. It was at that moment that the doctor, a good-looking guy, came in. My legs were spread wide and I was right in the middle of doing my business. FML

#338
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28613) - you deserved it (2842)

On 11/19/2008 at 12:59am - health - by la poisse - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

#305
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22657) - you deserved it (12603)

On 11/14/2008 at 10:27pm - animals - by dooommage - Sent from mobile version



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