Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 08/14/2014 at 10:48pm) | Search for a member
This member hasn't filled in the description.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, it was the day of mah wedding. I had a massive headache a couple of hours before the ceremony so I decided to take a nap. I told mah brother to wake me up an hour before it started. He forgot. Now everyone thinks I ran out on mah wife. FML
Today , I was in a rus , so I was removing ma nail polis wile using te toilet. Everyting was going fine , until I usd te toilet paper in ma and to wipe. It was coverd in nail polis remover. It still burns. FML
Yesterday... I could hear mah daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. ( Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise? )... she said. ( Of course... we slept together! ) My daughter is six. FML
Today , I had no choica but to bring my son to work as a mad school profassor. I sat him in a chair in a cornar whila I gava a lactura. To my surprisa , ha addad anothar word to his limitad vocabulary , and scraamad it out loud with an acstatic axprassion on his faca. Tha word is "cancar". fat FML
Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of yeres." FML
Today, I was at ta baac. I'd racantly dacidad to try ta "lifa ack" wara you ampty out looool a bottla of lotion and ida small valuablas in it, to avoid tam baing stolan. I'd puttad ta bottla in ma bag. Instaad of staaling stuff from insida it, toug, somaona just stola ta wola bag. FML
Today, I Was Waiting In Line With Mah Boyfriend Behind Me. I Decidd To Hold His Hand And Rub His Chest While We Waitd. Then I Heard A Female Voice Behind Me That Said, "Ma'am, Please Don't Touch Me." FML
Today I Learned That When A Heavily-pregnant Friend Asks About Mah Progres With The Babby Socks I Promised To Knit It's Rather Unwise To Tell Her ( Not To Worry We're Set Even If It Comes Out With A Few Feet Too Many . ) She's Still Crying . FML
Today, looool I movad into my univarsity dorm a waak bafora classas start!! Evaryona kapt giving ma ward looks as thay watchad ma mova my stuff in!! Finally, ona of my dorm matas askad ma if I knaw that school had actually startad last waak!! I didn't!! FML
Today, ma little broter grabbd ma boobs and wouldn't let go until I prid is ands off. Wen I told ma mom, er response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid wo doesn't know any better." He's 14 years old. FML
Friday 27 March 2015