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Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24219) - you deserved it (8741)
On 04/15/2012 at 3:03am - intimacy - by bummed - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8377) - you deserved it (12367)
On 03/29/2012 at 9:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19725) - you deserved it (2946)
On 03/22/2012 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a women asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16777) - you deserved it (3558)
On 03/22/2012 at 12:56am - work - by Atheist (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found a $10 bill on the ground. I got so excited and felt like I was the richest person alive. That was, until the wind blew it out of my hand, never to be seen again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17879) - you deserved it (6198)
On 03/21/2012 at 4:13pm - money - by MoneyMoneyMoneyMonayMONAY (woman) - United States
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8163) - you deserved it (45160)
On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to see a dinosaur exhibition with my mum. We walked around and saw a huge dinosaur, made of plastic and rubber. She was very disappointed, saying that she thought there would be real live dinosaurs for us to see. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20030) - you deserved it (1566)
On 03/19/2012 at 7:43pm - animals - by bibi (woman) - Slovenia (Bohinj)
Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6197) - you deserved it (28953)
On 03/18/2012 at 7:41am - love - by Austin Franklin - United States
Today, I was so bored that I spent two hours researching the history of spoons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15580) - you deserved it (5016)
On 03/17/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I panicked when I saw a spider on my shoulder from the corner of my eye. It was a birthmark. The same one that has been there for the last 23 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6279) - you deserved it (12255)
On 03/16/2012 at 1:54am - misc - by lct722 - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I gave in and let my friend give me a makeover. She couldn't find my eyelash curler, but decided that if she used scissors lightly, it would work just the same. Needless to say, it did not work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7715) - you deserved it (17292)
On 03/16/2012 at 1:11am - misc - by neveragain - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5694) - you deserved it (22130)
On 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by StinkyandStupid - United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20106) - you deserved it (1399)
On 03/15/2012 at 8:12am - love - by Teh_dw33bin4tor (man) - Australia
Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6899) - you deserved it (38200)
On 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8068) - you deserved it (21544)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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